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Last night I posted a comment on Freidai Critters asking for advice in dealing with a lovely kitty who is perfect in every way - except she is terrified of being touched by humans.  Someone suggested I let her have her own diary, and link it to the Happy Caturdie Pootie Diaree. So I am.  Please just move along if you aren't interested in kitties

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Suicide has touched my life personally through friends and acquaintances - and through my own attempts at suicide.  I have often heard the discussion in the aftermath of how suicide is cowardly, and selfish because of the hurt it leaves for survivors.  

Yes, it does leave hurt in the aftermath.  But sometimes, such as in the death of Robin Williams, I think we should look beyond the immediate fact of the suicide and celebrate the courage of the person who fought for so long before succumbing to the forces that drove him to suicide.

I am bi-polar, and believed when I first wrote this diary that Robin Williams had admitted to having the same condition.  After further research, I know he was believed to be bi-polar, but may never have stated that.  It really makes no difference to my views on his death.  He suffered from bi-polar or depressive disorder. I am writing in admiration of the courage it took for him to battle his condition for probably 50 years before he finally lost the battle.

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Sun Jul 27, 2014 at 10:12 AM PDT

Political Fatigue

by Anti Fanatic

I'm just back on KOS after a 2 year absence.  I left because I couldn't stand it any longer.  Not that I disagreed with the people here - I couldn't stand the constant frustration and anger I felt from being reminded of how screwed up our country is in so many ways.  I had to take a sabbatical, focus on the pleasant, non-political aspects of life - and refuse to read or discuss news - just to keep my sanity.  Am I alone, or is this a malady affecting many in our country?

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Tue Jun 26, 2012 at 04:00 PM PDT

Which mask should I wear today?

by Anti Fanatic

Recently I agreed to meet with three old friends from high school, women I hadn't seen in more than 40 years.  I knew the weekend would include a lot of catching up on what we had done with our lives.  And I didn't know which "face" I should let them see.  

Should it be my professional resume face?  All the things that went right and that i appreciate?  Or should it be the equally true, severely damaged person who's barely made it this far?  Both are me.  I'm trying to make myself into an integrated whole, but it is never easy.

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Sat Nov 15, 2008 at 01:54 PM PST

i killed mahself 6 timez . . .

by Anti Fanatic

I was just browsing diaries this morning and ran across a link to the story on lolcats.  Followed that and found:

Now, I can't stop crying.  I cry a lot lately, despite my joy at the election results.  But, that happens when you're a manic depressive and your meds are goofed up.

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Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 02:31 PM PDT

The Long Journey out of Racism

by Anti Fanatic

I often "lurk" and read diaries about race relations in the U.S.  As a 50-something Caucasian daughter of the South (at least Southwest: Texas), I have a guilty feeling that I don't have a right to speak on racial or ethnic issues because I have so clearly lived in a different reality than my Black or Hispanic friends.

But, I have realized that I have a story about race relations to tell from my reality.  And it is a continuing story with Sen. Obama's presidential campaign.

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I live in the heart of Red Texas.  I know that we can't carry it for Obama, much as I would like to and much as we still try.  But maybe, just maybe, we can send a Democratic Senator to help with the changes we so desperately need in Washington.  I've written diaries in the past, but this is my first diary begging for others to do what they can for a particular Democratic candidate.

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Thu Oct 16, 2008 at 12:26 PM PDT

Dear Joe the Plumber,

by Anti Fanatic

Can I can call you Joe?  After last night's debate, and all the diaries on KOS today, I feel like I've heard about you half my life.

I can't speak for Sen. Obama, but as someone who's followed the campaigns this year and looked at the tax plans of both candidates, there are some things I want to say to you.

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Sat Oct 04, 2008 at 06:27 AM PDT

The Ghosts at the Fire

by Anti Fanatic

The recent economic crisis has prompted me to think of my father's stories of the Depression.  I have been remembering the lessons my generation learned from Vietnam during the recent political debates about Iraq.  Too many of our common national memories, and nightmares, seem to be haunting us now.

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Mon Sep 29, 2008 at 09:10 PM PDT

My Vanishing Heartland

by Anti Fanatic

I live on a family ranch.  I recently had an exchange of comments here about family farms and ranches, factory farms, treatment of animals, effect of factory farms on the environment, etc.  I've realized that some here have a "nostalgia" for rural life - even though they may have no concept of how tough the reality is.  Others seem to view us as a barbaric remnant of a less civilized past. My head has been filled with those discussions - and all the family stories of our ranch which have been brought to the surface recently because of the financial crisis and the upcoming election which is so important in determining the future direction of the country.

This diary may seem "off topic" from the current financial crisis and the current elections.  But, our continued existence as family ranches is tied up with issues of economics, environmentalism - and, inevitably, politics.  

I don't know if I can express this well enough to make sense to anyone else because it is so close to my heart.  But I want to try.

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I recently posted a diary on self-responsibility and common sense.  I didn't get many recommendations, but lots of comments.  One accused me of using right-wing talking points through one of my examples and warned me that such action was not very popular here.

It got me to thinking about what should be "allowed" talking points for Democrats.  I realize that one of the things that encourages me about Sen. Obama's campaign, and one of the things that I personally like, is the fact that he is taking back some of the issues which for so long have been ceded to the Republicans.

In so many of the "analysis" pieces about Sen. Obama's acceptance speech, I see the claim that he contradicted himself because he spoke of self-responsibility as well as the government helping people.  I don't find his remarks at all contradictory.  The problem is that for so long the country - at least the media - has viewed issues as only "this" or "that", Democratic or Republican.  Over and over, I see Sen. Obama refusing to accept this division.

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Sun Aug 31, 2008 at 02:55 PM PDT

What it means to be Pentecostal

by Anti Fanatic

With the Sarah Palin selection, and the news reports that she was raised Pentecostal and still attends an Assembly of God church occasionally, I have been posting some comments to answer questions about what it means to be Pentecostal.

I was raised Pentecostal.  For all I know, I'm the only one with that personal background here.  I left the church by the time I was in college, but I know it thoroughly.  My grandfather was a respected Pentecostal minister, as were several of my uncles.  My mother was an assistant pastor (more on women in the church below).

If you are not familiar with the group, and have an interest in Palin's religious background, I'll try to explain the church below the fold.

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