Skip to main content


When we last met a few days ago, many of you, myself included, guessed that I had heard the last from my prospective date on EHarmony. Au contraire. This woman really loves me. Take into consideration that she is a retired school teacher. I truly pity her former students. It seems she has a bit of trouble with the English language and writing in complete sentences. But, why would she need to teach that. Word corrects everything. Here's her response. Enjoy!

Wow to you as well! I wasn't going to dignify your political rant, and I don't like confrontation, but yours hit a nerve and after having some time to digest all you spewed I decided to respond. In my opinion, obama is the most corrupt, American hating president in history! He is someone's puppet, um, and he, um, is trying to destroy this ah, country! I he um doesn't have a ah teleprompter from which to read he ah can't even give a speech without making huge mistakes. As for the stock market, do you really think it should be as high as it is? NO, and when it crashes (self-corrects) we will go into yet another depression. Vacations, this one is constantly playing golf, going to fund raisers, and generally ignoring what is going on in the rest of the world. At least she President Bush went 'on vacation' he usually went to his family home, which didn't cost US much. Mrs. obama and the girls go one way and he goes another, which costs even more in secret service, air fares, etc. He cares nothing for the middle class, and when he is finally out of office - is it 2016 yet? he will go on trying to destroy this country just as his father did. 2016, the Movie was chilling!
As this will be my last communication with you, I will wish you luck in your quest to find someone on eHarmony!

After all that I wrote her, she comes back at me weekly with this dribble. It all sounds like Republican and Fox News talking points. First note that Obama is in lower case. Is the president trying to destroy the country? Didn't he have to repair the mess left by his predecessor? The teleprompter stuff is like old news from 3-4 years ago. At least this president can pronounce words and speaks intelligently.

Did this lady admit that we were in a depression? How, pray tell, did we get there? Vacations are okay, as long as the president spends time with his family, even though it was for 1/4 of Bush's two terms. Am I wrong? Didn't two Air Force 1s travel to Texas each time Bush went there. Where is the cost saving?  I haven't heard much about our president playing golf. I think she has him confused with that orange skinned gentleman, the House Speaker. Isn't it amazing? We finally have a President who works, but the Republicans have blinders on. Where did she come up with the part about "trying to destroy this country just as his father did?" I missed something here. Was that his Kenyan father or his Hawaiian father? Why not go after his Irish great grandfather as well.

In case you missed the first part, read below the fold. I must say, this was great fun. Thank you for all the great comments. By the way, it was she who confronted me, first on religion, and then on Obama and OUR Country.  

Continue Reading

I was communicating with a lady for the past few weeks. She asked about my religion, and didn't like what I had to say.

So I received this response:
So looks like religion may be a topic we can agree to disagree about! Where do you stand politically? Obama supporter or anti-Obama? I find most if not all politicians today to be in there for themselves and not for the people who put them there and wish we could get rid of them all, or at least change the way things are, like term limits on all offices, no life time benefits when they may only serve a term or 2, same medical as we are forced to settle for, etc. I was never very political until 2008, when I really started looking and listening more carefully to what was going on, and now I have very definite opinions when it comes to politics and Washington!

I responded that I was pro Obama, to which I received this response:

Okay, so now politics are also an area where we disagree! I won't even start on what I think about our current so-called president and what I think should happen to him and his uppity family! No, I'm not prejudiced, just have very strong opinions about his time in OUR White House!

Now it was MY TURN:

Wow! You said that you got interested in politics in 2008? What movie were you watching from 2000-2008? Do you remember the stolen election of 2000, where the Supremes(with 5 members of the radical Catholic wing Opus Dei) took away Florida's right to count votes? The election where Jeb was purging voters at an alarming rate, 22,000 in Jacksonville alone. 14 years later, Republican states are still making it impossible to vote, like in North Carolina where college students have had to file suit to vote this year, or in your own State of Pennsylvania, where the Governor and legislature plotted to block up to 750,000 votes last election. Have you ever heard of PNAC, Project for a New American Century? Google it. Look closely at the members. You will recognize many of them. If their mission statement is still intact, it once said that "all they needed was another Pearl Harbor to totally control this country". Would that be 9-11? Weapons of Mass destruction? I think not. Actually, I was on a flight from Atlanta to Prague. My seatmate was one of three members of the International Atomic Energy Commission on that flight who searched Iraq for the alleged weapons. Bush and Company lied to us to get us into two wars. Even Colin Powell is now coming out saying he wished he hadn't been a part of that lie. Have you seen the documentary, Iraq for Sale? Pick up a copy and watch how VP Cheney's companies Halliburton and KBR stole billions of US dollars. It seems to me I read that as many as 120,000 Cheney mercenaries were on the ground in Iraq, including the private army Blackwater,  earning six figures, while our soldiers got paid peanuts. Google ALEC, American Legislative Exchange Council, a group funded by rich Republicans including the Koch brothers, who are writing state legislation by bribing elected officials with lavish trips and other goodies. Where was the stock market when Bush left office? Wasn't it around 6,000, and now it's at 16,000. Before the Affordable Care Act, 43 million Americans had no insurance. We should be ashamed! We need a single payer like Medicare for all, but the Republicans watered down the original bill. What we have now is at least a start in the right direction. A Republican president by the name of Eisenhower warned us about "the military and oil industrialists who will try to take over our country." He was right. But, this president built our amazing interstate highway system, probably his greatest legacy. Fifty years later, we have done little to upgrade or repair what Eisenhower started. 65,000 bridges are near collapse. A 2 trillion dollar highway fund is being held hostage by Congress, and it will expire this month. An infrastructure fix would employ 750,000 people with good jobs, not burger flipping. Can we ever expect to have a transportation service like Europe and Asia, where trains run on time, or they get fined? Our trains could travel at 165-200 mph if we would invest in new tracks to support high speed rail. But, in several states, including Florida and New Jersey, Republican governors have rejected funding for high speed rail in their states. Our education system, once among the best in the world, has dropped to the mid teens, or lower. How did that happen? It started with Reagan and his Education Secretary, William Bennett. What happened to free education for all? Oh, Reagan stopped that too. Now we have student debt at one trillion dollars. Our youth will struggle to buy a home or other tangible items because of this debt. Wouldn't it be nice if we could forgive this debt? We were able to throw away 3-4 trillion on the two bogus wars, so why not help our youth? Speaking of the two wars, why are we in Afghanistan? Have you ever heard of KAPI? That's the oil pipeline that we are protecting that runs from Kazakhstan to Afghanistan to Pakistan to India. And then, we have the children at the border, refugees fleeing their home countries from violence against young people, literally death squads, real ones, not the kind Sarah Palin was blabbering about. They are seeking political asylum, but are being throw in with the immigration mess, mostly because they have dark skin. Did you know that most illegals are white? 60% of illegals in the USA are from Central and Eastern Europe, mostly Russian, and from Canada. Who knew? What do you think about women's rights? Is it okay to limit access to birth control medications to women, while men can get Viagra or a vasectomy? What about the women who need birth control medications for medical reasons? Is it okay for women to have vaginal probes to check for pregnancy, as several Republican states have passed? I think not. Climate change is real. Arctic ice is melting at an alarming rate, methane gas is being released into the atmosphere, acidity in the waters off the coast of Florida is killing the coral, and thus the food chain. Storms continue to get worse as more moisture is in the air.

It will be interesting to see how you will react when OUR country elects a woman, either Hillary Clinton or Elizabeth Warren, as the next President. At least she won't be an uppity black man, who must have been born in some foreign country...Hawaii!!!

Seriously, the American public needs to be more informed as to what is going on in the world. Faux News, is just that...a mouthpiece for the Republican Party, filled with lies. The owner of Faux News is under indictment in Britain for false news among other charges. Journalism is dead in the USA. But Thank God that we have someone sane in the White after what happened today. McCain or Bush would have had us at war by now. You don't think Bush was uppity? The man never worked a day in his life, except maybe on his ranch with his more than 700 vacation days in eight years.

We'll manage without AC. It's just a minor inconvenience, but thank you for caring.

Discuss

I'm turning 65 in March. What steps do I have to take to enroll in Medicare, and when? I've tried calling the Medicare and Social Security offices, but they are shut down...another GOP casualty.

I'm told I need a supplemental insurance plan to cover the 20% that Medicare doesn't cover. I've been reading that I probably don't want to get involved with MedicareAdvantage plans. How do I know which supplemental plans will be the best for me? I've heard that the AARP supplemental plan is good.

I've given thought to enrolling for the ACA. My COBRA payment is $850 a month, with a probable increase in January. But, it seems I'd only be covered by the ACA for January and February before Medicare kicks in, so it's probably not worth it. The $850 is eating me alive right now. I'm hoping Medicare might cut that premium in half.

I'd appreciate any advice from the Kos community.

Discuss

My wife has been a volatile person for many years. Mood swings were common, but my daughter and I assumed that maybe it was menopause. The hot flashes had been going on for years. Two auto accidents, one in 2003 and another in 2007, seemed to make the anger go over the top. During the legal battle of the second accident, my wife was sent to be evaluated by two psychologists. The second doctor interviewed both my wife and I. I informed him of the many intolerable angry outbursts. He proceeded to test my wife. His findings included anxiety and depression, which could provoke bursts of anger.

I've been under a lot of stress myself. I had been my aunt's guardian until her death in February. For five years, I was court ordered to visit her monthly in Florida, which made me a very good Delta customer. I took in my demented father in March of 2010. He still lives with me. Thank God for great assistance from the VA and hospice. I run a small business, but that has suffered as I give my time to others. I also have begun a charity. I was the victim of a doctor's mistake in 2003. I died for several minutes during a "routine procedure". I figured out that I was still here for a reason, so I'm giving back. I assist less fortunate young women in Central and Eastern Europe. Helping others seems to give me an "inner peace" in my maddening world. I'll be writing diaries on these other topics in the coming months.

In January, a friend of my daughter's approached me. She asked me if I had seen my daughter's Facebook entry that day. Of course, I had not. My daughter said, "I can't take this anymore", which I've cleaned up. She was talking about her mother. I'd always thought my wife's wrath was targeted at me. It was time to have a talk with my daughter. I learned that my daughter felt verbally abused for as long as she could remember. A few times, my wife grabbed her by the throat, because she didn't understand her homework from school. Mostly, my wife didn't help with homework at all. I did. I had to erase the crap that my daughter was being taught in Christian schools, another topic. I was the prototypical Mr. Mom. I bathed my daughter until she was old enough to do it herself. I drove her to school. We studied together. She would travel with me to visit my clients. She had her own "office" under my desk. We've always been close. For the past two years, we've taken four history courses together at the University of Delaware.

My wife obviously was jealous. She started calling her daughter "an idiot" and "a loser" in public. My wife's niece is a princess. She can do no wrong in the eyes of the family. My wife always compares our daughter to the niece, who got A's at university in an easy major. She wouldn't have lasted one semester taking the math and science courses that my daughter has taken to complete her major, Animal Sciences. I'm very proud of my daughter for what she's accomplished. She'll complete her degree this year. Mom has never praised her. Everything is negative.

Continue Reading

In my last diary, I had filed for divorce from my bi-polar wife. My attorney filed with the court immediately based upon mental abuse. This type of filing would have bypassed the 6 month separation requirement of our state. My wife appealed the mental abuse claim. My attorney told me not to challenge the appeal because she would charge $400/hour and a psychologist would charge at a similar rate. So, I decided to wait the six months.

Continue Reading

Sometimes, we take life for granted. Sometimes, we need to die to realize that we really have an important purpose for our life. Can it be true that if our heart stops beating, we can see the importance of air, and somehow be reborn like a phoenix from the ashes? Maybe then, we can see that each and every one of us, as a single person, can make the world a better place. We can make dreams a reality and give hope to others who desperately need us. The good news is, you don't have to die! Somebody else did it for you, and now you can learn from this experience. Learn from BearDel!

Several years ago, I was a moderately successful business person and a very good basketball referee. One day, I discovered that I had an irregular heartbeat, diagnosed as atrial fibrillation. This condition can produce heart rates in excess of 200 beats per minute. As an active referee, my normal heart rate was 50-60 beats per minute. I didn’t have the irregular beats all the time, but, as you can imagine, when they kicked in, anxiety caused by a fear of death could make functioning as a normal person nearly impossible. This fear led me to give up my passion for basketball, as 3 very good friends had died while refereeing games. I was placed on a regimen of medications, but my “breakthroughs” were becoming more frequent. I was beginning to have episodes every day, often for several hours at a time. Doctors decided that I was a candidate for a medical procedure, a Pulmonary Vein Isolation (PVI) ablation of the heart. This procedure involves placing catheters into the veins of both legs with the final destination being the heart. A skilled doctor enters the heart and burns the areas where electrical impulses enter the heart (from the pulmonary veins), causing an imbalance resulting in the irregular beats. Since the meds were no longer working effectively, and because I knew that the heart meds were toxic, I decided to give the ablation a chance. The ablation was scheduled for February 11, 2003. I was to go home the following morning.

The ablation became my worst nightmare. The doctor made a critical mistake, and I died on the procedure table. Fortunately, a surgeon was nearby, and he had time to cut my chest open. My heart had stopped for several minutes. The surgeon cut the pericardium releasing the pooling blood. I was “shocked” with paddles several times, until my heart started beating again. The next ten days were spent in Intensive Care and Cardiac Care. I had lost 24 pounds. I was very weak. One of the meds they put me on had not been approved by the FDA. I had 8 side effects. I still have a paralyzed diaphragm in the right lung and numb feet. I should mention that the hospital invoice was for $269,000. Subsequent follow-up care cost another $250,000. Thank God I had insurance.

As you can imagine, depression set in. Often, I stated that I wished that the doctors would have just “let me sleep”. Most of the next year was spent seeing specialists to fix all of my new problems and the still uncured cardiac condition. I spent a lot of time online, and I finally did research atrial fibrillation. I found an online blog of atrial fib sufferers like me. My story was very compelling to members of the chat room, and it showed all of them the risks of ablations that many of them were considering. I must say, that what I learned from these wonderful people changed my life, in the short term. Several of these people are still friends today. I found a specialist at the nearby University of Pennsylvania, Dr. David Callans. I scheduled another ablation for April of 2004. The procedure was successful. I still have occasional episodes, but I know how to control them quickly.

Continue Reading

Fri Aug 19, 2011 at 05:46 PM PDT

Bi-Polar Disorder Destroys a Family

by BearDel

My wife has been a volatile person for many years. Mood swings were common, but my daughter and I assumed that maybe it was menopause. The hot flashes had been going on for years. Two auto accidents, one in 2003 and another in 2007, seemed to make the anger go over the top. During the legal battle of the second accident, my wife was sent to be evaluated by two psychologists. The second doctor interviewed both my wife and I. I informed him of the many intolerable angry outbursts. He proceeded to test my wife. His findings included anxiety and depression, which could provoke bursts of anger.

I've been under a lot of stress myself. I had been my aunt's guardian until her death in February. For five years, I was court ordered to visit her monthly in Florida, which made me a very good Delta customer. I took in my demented father in March of 2010. He still lives with me. Thank God for great assistance from the VA and hospice. I run a small business, but that has suffered as I give my time to others. I also have begun a charity. I was the victim of a doctor's mistake in 2003. I died for several minutes during a "routine procedure". I figured out that I was still here for a reason, so I'm giving back. I assist less fortunate young women in Central and Eastern Europe. Helping others seems to give me an "inner peace" in my maddening world. I'll be writing diaries on these other topics in the coming months.

In January, a friend of my daughter's approached me. She asked me if I had seen my daughter's Facebook entry that day. Of course, I had not. My daughter said, "I can't take this anymore", which I've cleaned up. She was talking about her mother. I'd always thought my wife's wrath was targeted at me. It was time to have a talk with my daughter. I learned that my daughter felt verbally abused for as long as she could remember. A few times, my wife grabbed her by the throat, because she didn't understand her homework from school. Mostly, my wife didn't help with homework at all. I did. I had to erase the crap that my daughter was being taught in Christian schools, another topic. I was the prototypical Mr. Mom. I bathed my daughter until she was old enough to do it herself. I drove her to school. We studied together. She would travel with me to visit my clients. She had her own "office" under my desk. We've always been close. For the past two years, we've taken four history courses together at the University of Delaware.

My wife obviously was jealous. She started calling her daughter "an idiot" and "a loser" in public. My wife's niece is a princess. She can do no wrong in the eyes of the family. My wife always compares our daughter to the niece, who got A's at university in an easy major. She wouldn't have lasted one semester taking the math and science courses that my daughter has taken to complete her major, Animal Sciences. I'm very proud of my daughter for what she's accomplished. She'll complete her degree this year. Mom has never praised her. Everything is negative.

I decided that my daughter and I should see a psychologist. First, I called the psychologist that tested my wife. I told him what was going on. My daughter decided that her mother was bi-polar. This doctor confirmed it. She had all the manic episodes and the manic shopping sprees, where she would easily spend hundreds or thousands on pure junk. We decided to consult the first doctor who had seen my wife. We told him what was going on. I documented many of the episodes. He, too confirmed the bi-polar diagnosis. My wife is seeing a psychologist, but he is treating her for ADD. The ADD medicine makes bi-polar episodes worse. Of course, my wife is in denial that she has a problem. I called her psychologist and told him what was truly going on. His response...he called my wife! Anyway, back to our consult, we were told to isolate ourselves from my wife to avoid conflicts, if she refused to seek help with her disorder. We had a trip planned for Spring Break in Florida. We were told not to take her along. He was right. After one day, we wanted to come home.

I should mention that I called my wife's sister to ask for help. She listened, but her response was that her sister was normal, and that my daughter and I were the problem, even though two professionals said otherwise. Bi-Polar Disorder is genetic, so the sister and others in the family may be ill, as well. It was obvious at that point that my daughter and I were on an island, alone. That sister's daughter was to have a high school graduation party in June. I wasn't to be invited, since I was no longer a member of the family!

In April, I bought a reclining chair, a place to relax when I needed a break. I couldn't rest in my own bedroom, as the TV was blaring or my wife would be talking to one of her two friends for hours about what she did at work that day. She hates her job, but it is her whole life. She leaves for work at 4:30 AM. It's a forty minute drive. She doesn't get paid until 7:30 AM. She is supposed to clock out at 3:15 PM, but often she gets home at 6:00 PM. The entire ride home, she talks on the phone about work, then talks for hours more while at home. So, I bought the chair. When my wife saw it, she asked, "who bought a chair for MY HOUSE without MY PERMISSION. Everything to her is My, My, My. Things escalated that evening. As I was trying to go to sleep, I was threatened with physical violence. I should have called the police. I didn't know about Protection From Abuse order. I know now.

Things kept getting worse. My daughter and I needed a break, away from my father and my wife. By the way, my wife is an RN. She does nothing to help with my father. My daughter and I do everything for him. He's at the point where he needs someone with him at all times. I was able to get my father placed in respite. My daughter and I were off for Europe, to see places that we had studied. We told my wife 4 days before the trip that we were going. She exploded! Se called my daughter a liar, and she said that her own daughter had betrayed her. My daughter cried most of that night, as I hugged her. The wrath for me was worse. I thought I was in the exorcist movie. In a voice that was not my wife's, I was told that "the devil is coming for you", "you are going to hell", and on and on. Before we went away, my wife took my daughter's credit card and my joint American Express card was taken from my wallet. I feared the worst. I set up an appointment with a divorce lawyer to my return.

We heard nothing from my wife during the trip, not even a text message to see if her daughter was okay. The family was too busy falling over the niece's new baby. Photos were on Facebook.  

Upon our return, my wife didn't speak to us for two days. Mostly she was locked in her room with the dogs. When she did appear, the angry look on her face was truly scary. The first time she spoke was to my daughter as she came home from work, "Look, IT is home". She called her daughter "It". Later in the week, I was threatened about financial matters. She made a call to someone, I assume her attorney, and she backed off. I met my attorney last Friday. Delaware law requires a six month separation before one can file for divorce. I heard my wife say to a friend that she couldn't wait until January, which would be six months. My attorney said that I do not have to wait six months, since I am being mentally abused. We signed the papers that day to protect me from my wife trying to sell the house or other matters. A surprise is coming her way, as she would never expect me to have the courage to file for divorce. My main fear has always been...I don't have health insurance. I think I'm going to be okay! My daughter and I will get through this together!

This is my first diary, but not my last. I want to share with you a letter my daughter and I wrote to my wife before we went on the trip. Everyone we showed it to cried. My wife apparently showed it to friends and family. They responded that they'd all like to be abused like we have been.

Update: I've filed for divorce due to mental abuse! I can only hope that everything works out! I have no health insurance, but my lawyer says that I can COBRA my wife's policy at her employer. My daughter is totally with me. We will struggle together! I'm not sure yet where we will live. One friend is very concerned about us!

Continue Reading
You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.

RSS

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site