A bison throw a cigarette butt out a window
A flock of geese blow the top off a mountain
A seal cause an oil spill
A raccoon go out and leave all the house lights on
A dog sit in his car with the engine idling for half an hour while eating breakfast and texting, and also bitching about the price of gas
A bobcat fight legislation to lower carbon emissions
A songbird sing "Drill Baby, Drill"
A pride of lions wage war over oil
A honey bee recycle nothing but right-wing talking points
A naked mole-rat assert that our biggest worry is global cooling
A salmon pollute a stream with mercury
An elephant claim that God says it's okay to pillage the world's natural resources because pachyderms are the "chosen ones"
A mockingbird mock public transportation
A polar bear claim that the melting ice caps are no big deal
An armadillo shrug off earthquakes related to fracking
A monarch butterfly buy enough Congress members to retain billions in oil subsidies.
Today is Earth Day, an event we celebrate every year to remind ourselves that we do not, in fact, have to be the biggest parasites on the third rock from the sun. We choose to be. Unlike the other parasites, we know what we're doing to this planet…and how…and why…and the kinds of things we must do to stop turning it into a ball of uninhabitable human-made garbage.
As an inhabitant of this spectacular planet, I'll continue to try and treat it with the respect it deserves, mostly by following the Four Rs: "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Rout the Republicans."