I’m the second born in my family and the only girl. Guess who got the responsibility of taking care of my three little brothers? The oldest Mike was babied by Mom. Even near the end of her life and Mike was living with her Mom would baby him too much. Jerry was the baby of the family and Mom’s favorite. Eric was the rebel and I have a real close relationship with him. We rebels need to stick together. Reid sort got stuck in the middle and was alternately ignored or babied. Me I was chop liver as far as Mom was concerned. Mom finally came to recognize my worth as I was the only child willing to move in and take care for her at the end of her life. Dad tried to make up for for Mom’s neglect. He was the one I talked science with and he liked looking into the paranormal along with his love of astronomy. I had the same likes.
I won’t get into the abusive marriage. I am still processing the emotions and pain that it caused. My niece had a bad marriage too. Her husband left her with three small children aged 6,4, and 2 with one suitcase of clothes and $20.00 dollars. Bernadette met Kevin through Match.com. I spent an hour on the phone one night talking her into giving love a second chance. I made her the dream wedding dress based on The Princess Bride that she wanted along with the veil and all the flowers done in silk. Oh and did I mention I made her an Arwen dress for a church Halloween party?
I moved down to North Carolina to be near her. All of the children are close to me. Her second born Tristen and I are particularly close. Tristen has said it best when he said “it is impossible to explain the relationship between Michele and I.” He told me he wasn’t going to call me Aunt because I wasn’t like an Aunt. He lived with us for a year. During that year I took him all over so that he could fulfill his dream of joining the Navy and working on nuclear submarines. His parents didn’t want him in the armed forces during the time that Trump was in office. They were afraid Trump would get us into a war and that Tristen would have to fight. Tristen did get his chance to work on a nuclear submarine in a six month tour of duty.
I was torn between taking care of Mike or helping Bernie with her children. I made the decision to move to North Carolina. Mike was supposed to come down. Instead the demons caused by the Vietnam War finally destroyed him. He drank himself to death. I was now trying to care for his heart broken only child and his three grandchildren. I have to be both mother and father to them.
After moving to North Carolina I spent a year being able to go out when I wanted to, go to science fiction conventions, and just enjoy life with my cats. That ended with phone calls to Reid. He had diabetes and I just knew he wasn’t taking care of himself. I went out to California to get him and was shocked at the way he looked. He was smoking heavily and was down to 104 pounds. I knew then that I would have to be his caregiver for as long as he lived.
So at 73 now I have had to deal with Reid losing both legs due to his diabetes. He has been in and out of the hospital continuously. I have no idea how I am going to pay for all these medical bills but that is a different story. I am Reid’s Medical Power of Attorney and as he has done all his life he is having me make the major decisions. He acknowledges that his not taking care of his diabetes is the cause of his medical problems. Now he is in End Stage Renal Disease and I will be adding another hat to my collection. I will have to get him set up so he can do his dialysis at home. Thank goodness Medicare will pay for my training and his supplies. Six years of working for a dialysis supply company will now come in handy.
I have a love hate relationship with caregiving. Sometimes when I finally get to bed I think of my life before I started down this road. Then I realize that I have had two lives that I made a difference to. Reid appreciates all I’ve done for him. I would like to have been there earlier so that he wasn’t in the shape he is now but at that time I needed to take care of our mother.
I do have my art both graphic and acrylics which along with cooking is my shelter from the storm. I am trying to put together a cookbook and hope to get it published. It is healthy eating food while being delicious. The problem is I’m looking at close to 1,300 recipes and deciding what should go into the book. I have also gotten back into painting. A friend pointed me to the expressionist paintings and I discovered that is my style. So I am happy even though I am frequently bone weary. In fact today I am going to lose myself in my art.
I know this is a long and personal diary but I thought that maybe people would like to know who michelewln is and what made her the Admin for Street Prophets (thanks Ojibwa) that she is. I look forward to doing my Sunday and Thursday diaries. I am happy though because I am making a difference in someone’s life.
Fluffy Cake With Fruit Filling
Servings: 16
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 cup unsalted butter -- softened
1½ cups granulated sugar
4 whole eggs
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 cups all-purpose flour -- sifted
2 teaspoons baking powder
21 ounces pie filling -- use your favorite flavor of fruit pie filling
Heat oven to 350°F.
In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar. Add the eggs. Beat until light and fluffy. Add the almond extract. Stir in the flour and baking powder. Mix until smooth.
Butter a 13x9x2 inch pan. Spread the batter evenly in the buttered pan. Spoon pie filling onto the cake in 16 spots, spacing 4 spoonsful evenly in each direction. Bake at 350°F for 45 to 50 minutes or until golden and cake tests done.
The fruit filling will sink into the cake while it bakes.
Per Serving: 250 Calories; 13g Fat (45.9% calories from fat); 3g Protein; 31g Carbohydrate; trace Dietary Fiber; 84mg Cholesterol; 81mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1 Grain (Starch); 0 Lean Meat; 2½ Fat; 1½ Other Carbohydrates.