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FROM THE GREAT STATE OF FLORIDA

Bill is off relaxing at an undisclosed spa, where he will be enjoying “the works,” including a Bird Poop Facial and a Beer Bath , so I’ll be  checking the chlorine levels in the mimosas today.

Since I don’t actually know any front-pagers to interview for Monday's normal Yes, We’re All Staring At You segment, I thought I’d provide a brief overview of some of the regular Kiddie Pool habitués for the splashers who are still wearing floaties.  With tongue firmly in cheek, let us look first at:

Bill in Portland Maine, or as he likes to call himself, BiPM.  Bill started out as a no-talent DJ in East Overshoe, OH, before to being rescued by his hunka hunka burnin’ love, Common Sense Mainer (I think the name says it all, don’t you?) and lured to the Great Northeast where he has lived literally by his wits for some years.  From a small apartment in Portland, he ekes out a meager living writing (and I use that term loosely) a continuing stream of drivel that he tries to pass off as biting political satire.  Poor, sad, confused little Billy.  For financial support, he relies on the charity of numerous good Samaritans who feel strongly that writing this bad should not be allowed any broader audience, so they pay out of their own pockets to keep him shackled to dKos. If you too, feel that the world at large needs to remain protected from Bill’s gibberish, you can help by contributing HERE.

Commonmass, as he never tires of telling us, is a classically trained musician who spends far too much time playing with his organ.  When he is not engaged in such solitary pursuits, he retreats to a small shack in a godforsaken area of Maine, accessible only by ox cart.  At the “Rock,” his aptly named private hell-hole, his main activities seem to be chopping wood, eating local berries, and similar Bear Grylls-like enterprises, alternating with inviting single women up to spend some “quality time” in seclusion with him.  This is likely a desperate attempt to resolve his confusion regarding his sexual identity.  But just between you and me, he is as queer as a three-dollar bill, and these feeble attempts at a macho façade fool no one.

Grog, poor guy, suffers from a syndrome brought on by too much electronic drumming combined with too much time in unventilated rooms with PVC glue and acrylic paint.  His neurons all but destroyed, he now lives in a fantasy world populated by teeny tiny orcs, chaos lords, archons, mages and militiamen.  He emerges from his imaginary world occasionally to do useful things like rescue pooties and mow the graveyard across the street – which is mainly why we tolerate him here.  Our hearts go out to his long-suffering wife, Mrs Grog.

Kestrel9000 has no life.  He lives vicariously through dKos, posting, commenting, and generally making his presence felt everywhere on the site – including the dreaded OuterBlogs.  Like most Kiddie Poolers, he is not quite all there, as evidenced by his obsession with the pint-sized feathered killing machines known as Kestrels.  Hardly a day goes by that he doesn’t subject us splashers to a peek inside his curious little castle of carnage.  Helpless little squeeees (and I’m talking adorable little field mice, geckos, and birdies) are frequently shown in living color, entrails trailing, blood oozing, their itsy-bitsy bodies mangled almost beyond recognition.  Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

Loki is the official C & J pootie.  He owns a person named Debbie whom he has trained to cater to his every need.  The camera loves him, and he is by no means shy about seeking the limelight.  One of the highlights of C& J is a daily photo of his gorgeous shimmering self doing what comes naturally. Recently Loki has taken on an apprentice, Rory.  His accolate is still little more than a fledgling, fiery, fluffball, but under Loki’s expert tutelage, is already showing promise.  He is destined for greatness, IMHO.

Space does not permit me to profile more than these few right now, but perhaps another time, I will be able to give you the inside scoop on Ed Tracy, Escapee, Mofembot, Behan, Rserven, CityLightsLover, NonnyO, Mayim, UkiOli, Foytc, Texmex, Legendmn, Actbriniel,  RB608, and so many others who have called C & J “home” for so long.  Until then:

Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

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What do you normally eat for breakfast?

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FROM THE SUNSHINE STATE:

Bill is getting his annual proctoscopy exam on vacation today, so instead of the witty punditry and political snark you’re used to seeing on Monday mornings, you’ll be a pathetic imitation from me.

Since everyone who’s anyone was at NN10, there was no one around to interview for the normal Yes, We’re All Staring At You segment, but I did manage to come by some really juicy bits of gossip from the dKos community.  Feel free to tweet and re-tweet to your little hearts’ content, and remember – you heard it here first.

Follow me over the hump for the hot-skinny

Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

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The Best part of NN10 was:

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Warning: Don’t read this diary if you can’t face the harsh reality of what it’s like for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan!

Beginning in June 2007, documentary producers Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger spent nearly a year embedded with the second platoon of Battle Company, 503rd Infantry Battalion.  The unit was stationed in the Korengal Valley – a 6-mile-long stretch of hell that was the site of almost one-fifth of all the combat in the entire country of Afghanistan during 2007.  The place where more than 40 US soldiers have lost their lives. The place soldiers call "the most dangerous place in the world."

This June, Junger and Sebastian released RESTREPO, their no holds barred account of the day-to-day lives of the soldiers fighting for their lives in what was believed to be a main corridor used by Taliban and foreign fighters to infiltrate from Pakistan.

Over the fold, the 90 second RESTREPO trailer.  It will leave you speechless.  

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My contribution so far has been

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How is it that NFTT is able, year after year, to bring so many donors and volunteers together in a way that benefits the maximum number of guys and gals who put their lives on the line every day for you and me?

Simple.  We have a secret weapon.  

However, this weapon is SO secret, that if I tell you about it, you will have to promise me – and I mean cross-my-heart-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-my-eye PROMISE me - that you will not tell anyone else!!!

Ok.

As long as you’re sure.

Here goes...

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The regular Cheers and Jeers post went missing today at approximately 9:00 am EDT.  Authorities suspect fowl play.  Several chickens were seen milling about in the vicinity of the front pager’s residence.

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A Florida House Committee is debating the merits of legislation that would tie teachers' pay to students' performance on tests, rather than currently used factors such as their level of education, additional certifications, and time in the job.

Two bills, SB-6 and HB-7189, would also require students to be tested on subjects in addtion to those aready covered by the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test (FCAT) - things like social studies, government, and geography.  Test results would be used to determine which teachers get raises, and which get fired for not "performing."  The bills have already passed in the FL Senate.

This legislation is without a doubt the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

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Hi there fellow splashers.  Civil Writes Activist here.  Been a Kossak about 2 years, but I keep a low profile.  This will be my "public debut," so please be kind.

Me - I live in paradise, in a tiny beach community near St Pete, FL.  I used to be a community columnist for the Tampa Tribune, but last year I got "promoted" to blogger, where  I remain the token progressive on a conservative paper. I'm ex-IBM, consultant, teacher.  Currently unemployed. (bummer!)

I know you’ve all been wondering how Bill’s doing, so I had Michael fax me some pages from his diary.  Please follow me over the fold for


Bill and Mike’s Excellent Adventure.


Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

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MY vote for Teabagger Sign Fail of the Year is:

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Poor babies.  You can’t take it any more.  You don’t have the stomach for all the infighting and attack-posts, so you’re throwing in the towel.  

Cowards!

Am I disheartened and disappointed? You bet.  Am I sick to death of all the finger-pointing and tearing down?  Absolutely.  Am I angry at the recent memes criticizing the Obama administration, the Democratic party, and progressives in general?  Damn right.

But - this is one yellow dog Democrat who’s going to stay around and fight.  

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Disclaimer: this is a re-post from Thursday, due to another diarist & I getting our wires crossed and both putting up "save Bill" diaries. I’m putting this back up for the late day and West Coast Kossacks who may not have seen yesterday's diaries before they fell off the list.      Warning: Heavy snark content

Most of you don’t know the true story of Cheers and Jeers author, Bill Harnsberger,aka BiPM.  But I am here to fill you in.  It's a tale that will bring tears to your eyes, a smile to your lips, and might even make you throw up in your mouth a little.  Follow me over the jump for the tragic saga of our collective employee.

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Most of you don’t know the true story of Bill Harnsberger, aka BiPM, and his family. But I am here to fill you in.  It will certainly bring tears to your eyes, perhaps a smile to your lips, and might even make you throw up in your mouth a little.  Follow me over the jump for the tragic saga of our collective employee.

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My favorite thing about Cheers and Jeers is

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There’s something happening here.
capitol

What it is ain’t exactly clear
drummer

(Rest of the song after the jump)

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Florida State Senators Carey Baker (R-Eustis) and Rep. Scott Plakon (R-Longwood) have introduceda proposed Constitutional Amendment that would let Florida opt out of any public option that might become part of health care reform passed in Washington.  They are calling it the Florida Health Care Freedom Act.  The bill is co-sponsored by 22 other House members.

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