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The simple answer: because the military cannot be trusted to serve me and my family.

It's not just because the top general is willing to commit more of his soldiers for blatant IED fodder, the commonplace and accepted fact of life for today's grunt.

Nor is it just due to serving a commander in chief who is untethered to reality, one with his past, present and most tellingly, his future, vacant of remorse, honesty and any sense of human decency. The evidence? He is already planning for a future of well-reimbursed mouthing opportunties offering inanity after inanity, good ol' brush cutting when boredom strikes and some sort of a fantastic freedom institute bound by mortar infused with the marrow and blood of hundreds of thousands of maimed and murdered.

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Call it snark, satire, whatever you wish. Hopefully enough of the following works for you. Let's begin:

Bernard Kouchner, France's foreign minister apologizing after saying Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki should resign:

   "It's not the French foreign minister's role to decide who will or not become a prime minister in another country,"

Our take: Right on buddy, that's the U.S.'s role so butt out you cheese-swilling surrender money.

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When George Bush looks into a mirror...he sees Nouri al-Maliki, the prime minister of Iraq.

Here's why?

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Tue Aug 28, 2007 at 10:52 AM PDT

Life for dummies, the 28 per centers

by Cogitator

Is there a book, say titled "Life For Dummies" available?

That is, dumb being defined as lacking intelligence or good judgment.

Because, of those belonging in such a category, well, they certainly are around and about.

Now don't label me as an elitist -- someone who believes in rule by an elite group -- as my lacking the necessary money, power, prestige, brainwaves or, most importantly, desire, to lurch into such a category is my saving grace.

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Mon Aug 27, 2007 at 08:41 PM PDT

Can he pull it off?

by Cogitator

Try all this on for size:

   

"...The choice we must make is as important as it is clear.

   It is a choice between looking back and looking forward.

   A choice between the way we've always done it and the way we could do it if we dared.

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Hillary, Barack or John?

Really, that's the choice of candidates who have any chance at securing the Democratic nomination for president.

So who should it be?

All three are qualified and could handle the tasks and rigors of the position but the best of all would be an amalgamation of the three. However, science isn't able to perform such a task -- yet

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It's Memorial Day.

At the very least, all soldiers and civilians killed and harmed in war deserve a moment of reflection, as does all of mankind's conflicts.

Let's zero in today on The Great Conflictor, whose latest inanity was uttering "I'm credible because I read the intelligence" in response to a press conference question about his latest deceitful attempt to self-servingly frighten the American public.

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First a touch of spur-of-the-moment humor followed by today's main course:

Rumor has it that it's now down to just George and Laura. No more Barney. It apparently happened this way. George started bawling his head off in the White House living quarters because 'everyone expects me to be so damn perfect" and then he slipped to his knees, possibly in prayer, maybe exhaustion or something he ingested...

At the moment Laura entered the doorway to see what the commotion was, she spied Barney hike his leg and urinate on Bush.The question now is this: might there the equivalent of Guantanamo Bay for canines? All reporters have been able to learn is that Alberto Gonzales says such would be legal regardless of who committed a terrorist act as enemy combatants can be non-human.

Okay, here's an attempt at 'serious humor' if such an onymoron exists. We've kept some of the following song titles as is and 'adjusted' a few others. But heck, we guarantee that all are reality-based. See for yourself as we match up favorite and not-so-favorite song titles to some of those in the news.

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A sex offender is defined as a person who has been criminally charged and convicted of, or has pled guilty to, a sex crime. The seemingly more harsher term, sexual predator, is used to describe a person seen as obtaining or trying to obtain sexual contact with another person in a metaphorically predatory manner.

Now I'm not a lawyer and thankfully don't even portray one on television but it seems apparent that Bill O'Reilly does not legally qualify as a sexual offender or sexual predator under either of these two definitions--despite his involvement in a sexual harassment lawsuit with Andrea Mackris, a female FOX producer.

But this question remains: should O'Reilly be affixed such labels in the 'court of public opinion'?

Poll

well, is he or isn't he?

83%72 votes
16%14 votes

| 86 votes | Vote | Results

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Sometime in the not too distant future, George Bush will be rattling around the ol' ranch in Crawford. So combining that inevitability with our imagination running a tad amok, the following was produced:

Sporting an enormous codpiece and Crawford Crawdad Festival Grand Marshall cap on backwards but firmly in place, George Bush takes a running leap on to the deck of a rickety skiff moored at Crawford Creek.

"Mission accomplished you sonsabitches," he rasps. "major combat operations against a dangerous and aggressive enemy have now ended and I will, with precision, boldness and speed, now secure and reconstruct this waterway."

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Patronage has existed as long as government. The two go hand in hand. Sometimes, the worst is rooted out by the media but usually only after an appointee demonstrates utter incompetency (see Michael Brown/FEMA) or commits egregious crimes and such becomes just impossible to ignore or cover up (Kenneth Tomlinson/Corporation For Public Broadcasting).

As with so many things, the Bush Administration has taken the awarding of jobs and positions to a low heretofore unknown. But this typical to-the-victor-goes-the-spoils system has also been re-worked as a construct of the political/idealogical philosophy saluted by the I-Hate-Government crowd, the Bush Administrationists.

See, not only is the Bush Administration rewarding it's cadre of loyalists and purchasing new foot soldiers with figurative diamonds and gold--it is also quietly doing its best to be the worst government entity ever in order to reinforce the meme that all government is bad and that private enterprise is the one and only indisputable saviour. Granted, sometimes, such as the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, spin control spins out of control but then its simply time to blame anyone and everyone else and order your corporate media sycophants to broadcast just such.

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Rudy Guiliani just committed political suicide, again.

But it certainly wasn't by taking any sort of brave stand. Instead, he publicly offered up high praise for George Bush's leadership and vision. Yeah Rudy, the troops in Iraq really thank you for your political and moral courage.

In a pathetic attempt to buy some needed GOP 'cred,' our Saviour of New York has decided to get in line--unfortunately Joe Lieberman got their first, or maybe was always there and has just never left--and brownnose George Bush until the cows come home or enough Republican primaries go by with him as the butt-dragging anchor.

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