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So you think that you've heard enough about the verdict? It takes me a while to simmer and then come to a boil. I'm Irish...Don't make me come over there!

Headings:

If Zimmerman Voted For Mitt, You Must Acquit
Sanford And Sons
Yippeekayay
Enter The Jagoff
Use The Force, Grasshopper (Whatever)
The Tool Of Hard Knocks
The Best Defence Is Offensive
Cheaters Always Prosper
Race? You Mean The 100 Yard dash?
Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury, In Summation, Let's Get This Show Off The Road

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OK, undecideds. Here’s the deal: If you haven’t settled on a candidate yet then you are either an egotistical imbecile basking in the undeserved attention, or on a feeding tube. What are you waiting for, coupons?? You already have everything you need to know. Do everybody a favour and stay home November 6th. Watch “Honey Boo Bo” and plan your career path. Maybe you could bring a pair of dice to the voting booth but, face it, your vote is as relevant as a spoilt ballot. Your voice certainly wasn’t worth the wait so, to paraphrase Eddie Murphy, “Have a Koch and a smile and shut the fuck up”.

Headings:

Romney Apocalypse
Hypocritic Oaf
Me Pluribus Unum
Onward Corporate Soldiers
Voter Flawed
Blame Changer
Fact You!
Puppetry Of The Priebus
Send In The Clowns
Can You Tell Me How To Gut, How To Gut (Through) Sesame Street
Thinking Outside The Fox
The Medium Is The Mess
The King Of Jeers

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The Republicans and the Tea Party. Two wrongs make a right wing. In a Romney administration, even the manufacture of consent will be outsourced. Welcome to the Global Pillage.

Mitt Romney’s current difficulties always were just fate. It’s not that he is a bad candidate, (he is) but as any comic can tell you, you are only as good as your material. Assume that he and the President have roughly equal debating skills. Obama has theory and facts on his side but since Romney hasn’t even settled on a set of facts of his own yet, he can run only a defensive game. Counting on a “Hail Mary” play from your own end zone just to put you back in the game, (football references end here) does not bode well for his chances, unless he brings in a replacement moderator, of course. To President Obama: When challenging Romney’s facts, bring a ten thousand dollars ante, just in case. No reason not to bring free enterprise into this.

This is part of an essay that I wrote earlier this year and I am now posting on DK, with some updated entries, new observations and a brand new “third act”. The original bits were written during the throes of the primaries when there was just too much usable material for the taking, handed out by Republican strategists and Romney surrogates like so many “elitist Liberal entitlements”. Can’t wait for the run-up to the election. I’m going to need a cigarette after, even though I don’t smoke.

Headings:

Sometimes A Penis Is Just A Penis
It’s Moaning In America
The Drivel Is In The Details
The Usual Rejects
What Can Clown Do For You?
Honourable Mentions
Cumming Attractions
Tea For Number Two
ConTEAgen II
Think Inside The Booth

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I love slogans. Pictures are worth a thousand words but slogans have the last word. So much can be implied and distorted with a simple glib expression, effectively short-circuiting a parade of carefully chosen images. This type of shallow, overbearing and gratuitous editorialising is porn to a dedicated cynic like myself. A slogan outlasts a sound bite and is even cheaper than a bumper sticker. If only they could be used for good instead of evil.

The party conventions are over and the net effects have been tallied. Democrats have seen a measurable rise in the poles after theirs but the campaign has yet to run the Citizen’s United and voter suppression gauntlets. Behold the calm before the storm. It appears that Obama is well on his way to re-election because of Romney’s chronic ineptitude but all the support and prevailing sentiments in the world won’t do an iota of good if the voting booth becomes a restricted, members only club. The Romney machine is not done yet. Don’t count your chicken fillets before the anti-gay rally.

A year ago BP was considered to be the most hated corporation on the planet after months of disastrous press but then after millions of dollars of strategic, feel-good ads they have completely erased that perception and now BP is authorised to give Communion. This is a tactile validation of McLuhan’s assertion that a good hard sell will overcome a bad smell and emphasises that the product is utterly irrelevant if the message is potent enough. Cynical marketing practises recognise distilled perception as News You Can Abuse so the Romney backers are chomping at the bit, waiting to spend a hundred times as much on pro-Romney but much more on anti-Obama propaganda to pollute the air with partisan smog. By the time these GOP hacks are finished with Obama, he’ll be a welfare-cheating, Bible-burning, HIV-Positive, body-snatching, Communist pedophile waiting to sneak into your house TONIGHT to take your guns. It’s not over yet. The contest between two opposing candidates failed so the fight will revert to the referendum push. The empire is about to strike back.

Headings:

99.44% Manure
Chick-Fil-Amen
I'd Rather Switch Than Fight
You Want Lies With That?
Think Under The Rock
We Love To Lie And It Blows
The Most Busted Name In News
We're Looking For A Few Substandard Men
Have A Koch And A Smile
It's Alive!!
Bainspotting
You Didn't Kill That
Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave When We Practise To Conceive
Robots And Clint
Leave The Conniving To Us
It's The Surreal Thing
Got Influence Peddling?
It Keeps Going And Going And Going...
What's In His Wallet?
It's Not Too Late To Become A Mayan
When The Time Is Right, Will You Be Ready?
 

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The Presidential election is heating up and a sense of proportion is nowhere to be seen.
As the saying goes, “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention”.

Headings:

Profiles in Carnage
Shame of Thrones
It's Just Business
Day One
Corporations Eat People, My Friend...
Being Republican is Never Having to Say You're Sorry
Eat the Rich, Bite Down On the Son of a Bitch
None For All But All For One
Occupy Stupidity
A Chicklet in Every Pot
When Catterpillars Attack
The Meddling is the Message
WWJTUTB
The Jesus and Daisy Chain
Planned Personhood
Walker Wisconsin Ranger
Voter Nullification
Can I Vote Just Until I Need Glasses?
Romney-To-English,101, (Mitty Litter)

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