Enough is a danged 'nuff...Marsy's Law
As a single Black woman who has been married and divorced, but already had four children by the time I first wed … I can tell you now that “daddy in the home" is NOT the panacea people think it is.
It (‘homedaddy’) is not always an option, especially with younger folks who likely aren’t thinking in the first place.
Only time tells … there is no magic looking glass or crystal ball that says how bad people turn good and good people turn bad or how good stays good and bad stays bad. Nobody really knows, and all beliefs are on the table and up for sale.
‘Daddy in the Home’ BS
I’ve listened to so much BS about how the ‘poor Black’ children are falling apart and getting in all kinds of trouble because there is no “daddy in the home,” and all of these “stupid Black women on welfare” who keep proliferating while in poverty. Then tell me a story about how there are ZERO double-parent (fully-parented) homes with troubled children in them and we’ll have that talk.
Single Black women have ALWAYS raised their children alone … and too many of their children turned out quite well to make a judgment call on any of it.
And furthermore, married Black women don’t have any more guarantees than anyone else does. Children get grown, hopefully get gone, and make their own decisions regardless.
My own eldest granddaughter, one of the most privileged and spoiled and ‘daddy-loved’ Black females on the planet -whose father went into overdrive protecting his children because of his own daddy-abandonment issues- went bonkers right around 17 all by herself … and NONE of the sacrifices her daddy (my son) made for her made a hillabeans difference about her singular ‘I’m grown and you can’t tell me what to do’ decisions in the end.
I can’t even say that if I had had a daddy LIKE HERS, I would have turned out better. I don’t know that, and neither does anyone else.
No...I Don't Advocate For Single Black Parenthood…
But it is what it is. There ARE no guarantees. ZIP.
It’s as if no one has the sense enough to know that Black women also fall in love and things don’t always work out as planned, and they have no intention of being left alone but ‘ish’ happens. They may not BE Cinderella-esque, or wake up like some little ‘Snow White’ fiction creature with little bluebirds singing and whistling and chirping over their heads in the mornings, but they dream like her — about home and family and love in their lives, and it simply don’t go the way they planned. Yeah, I said “don't” in that sentence: Slurry intentional.
It doesn’t even always go that way for WHITE women, and plenty of them end up single-parenting as well … including the mothers of Lance Armstrong, Pierce Brosnan, and Tom Cruise, whose father abused him, as well as Don Knotts — who had bona fide daddy abuse issues that wore him out to the day he died. [ withoutafather.com ]
Of course, it would be better if ‘black ward cleaver’ was somewhere nearby...
but Don’t be Color-coding Single Parents
It's as if these single-mom-bashers have no clue that that stated 70-something percent single Black women with no daddy in the home, blah blah blah … I’d be almost willing to be MORE THAN HALF OF THEM DO HAVE DADDIES IN THE HOME … ALSO KNOWN AS — the man who also happens to be the granddaddy, or maybe the the uncle, the cousin, or even the brother of ‘baby mama’, which is probably why she done lost her mind anyway.
One particular female I know told me of a story where her grandfather was a known child molester and when he tried to molest her, she was told to shush it and refused to do so. He ended up in prison because of it, and that is exactly where he belonged.
Don’t even bother pretending it doesn’t happen to white women, either — Danielle Steel wrote BOOKS about it men with big time community standing raping their own daughters and female relatives. Daddy just might BE in the home and nobody wants to talk about it … AND the daughter is getting blamed for it, at that.
*MAN CONVICTED OF MOLESTING FOUR-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER*
While they're busy yapping about it, they need to take the time out to go COVER these children before something bad does happen. If they can’t do that, they need to shut up. Period.
It’s like telling someone to “go get a job,” and YOU ain’t hiring. If you are not resolving the problem, then you are part of the PROBLEM. Period.
Seems like “Beat Up a Black Woman Day“ Never Ends in America
… And maybe we’re tired of it … from EVERYBODY.
It isn’t like Black women don’t get beat up enough without Black men shaming them and helping it along. Single Black women having babies is not anything new, it’s been going on since “the Book of Genesis” for those who believe, and for those who do not believe in God…since THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
They are the ones responsible for the Earth being populated in the first place, so folks need to stop acting like it’s something “new” in America.
There were no Romanesque-American timelines on the situations of people’s life over in the Far Eastern, Persian, or Middle Eastern worlds — and that apparently didn't change when we got over here from there.
“By the time you’re this age, you should have accomplished that … no.” Not really.
Mary, the Mother of Jesus, was a 14-year old Mother/Madonna without a husband at the time, and no matter how much we deny it, it’s still a fact of life. The denial changes nothing.
#BlackMaturityMatters … especially in a nation filled with a majority of white male lawmakers who want to keep the narrative rules about how young a girl can be before they are legally allowed to molest her and not go to jail. Just because they’re nasty like that.
Filing flingy FEELINGS on the First and Original Baby Daddies
And don’t even START with the hundreds of white male “baby daddies” who abandoned their entire Black families from the very beginning, and left them desolate and in dire poverty coming off those plantations more than 150 years ago.
There were hundreds of white men who were disowned by their own families for even claiming their Black inheritance and descendants, this junk is real. It doesn’t end just because someone feels a need to make themselves feel justified and self-righteous at someone else’s expense.
THAT part of reparations has not been rectified to this very day.
And Black female WIDOWHOOD is just as real … majorly among Black women who simply do not WANT to be married again and aren’t sloshing around in the streets looking for anything that will have them just to keep from being alone.
Do or do not do. in some folks mind, Black women can’t win for losing — and ALL of us should have had enough of other people controlling the media’s narrative about us.
Black men, this includes YOU. If you are talking and not walking in a door offering your superb Black male daddying skills to some Black woman in your community who is hurting and maybe even a little bit lost and confused at the moment, put it on the table, or shut it up.
YESTERDAY. ENOUGH!
~ -30- ~
‘He’s all mine and I don’t loan him out, not even for special occasions.’
MARSY’S LAW … you know it won’t apply equally to Black females who are sexually assaulted and molested by male relatives (or anyone else who rapes them) and then are guilted into having the babies of their rapists, but it’s better than nothing. A rising boat lifts all tides.
