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Fri Sep 06, 2013 at 10:23 AM PDT

Manipulation and Twisting DBAD Rule

by Oke

One of the first things I learned here from others was to back up opinions in comments with links.

My motivation for writing this is not to call out any one person but to provide an example of how DBAD and claims of being a victim is being manipulated in legitimate comments.

Sadly, this may turn into a pie fight, that is not what it's meant to do. I hope this is taken in the way it's meant to be, this community needs to be aware of some of the antics going on.

In an attempt to be open minded to claims of late of people being mean and policing the rec list I went into this diary today to see if that is actually the case.

A comment I came across is an example of why I feel a lot of this is crying wolf.


Do you see Hamden't comment as being dickish?

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Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 11:10 AM PDT

IA-GOP County Co-Chair Leaves Party

by Oke

The co-chairman of the Polk County Republican Party has resigned and changed his party registration to independent, saying the GOP has become too conservative and is condoning “hateful” rhetoric.
Steve King's crazy finally set off a morality alarm in someone in the GOP:
Brown said in a phone interview that he became disgusted by a party he believes is being run by the Christian right and the National Rifle Association. He cited Congressman Steve King’s recent, controversial comments on illegal immigrants as an example of his philosophical conflict with the party.
“No one’s really stood out to really fight him on those. I think they’re hateful statements,” he said. King made national news with his comment that illegal immigrants were more likely to be drug traffickers “with calves the size of cantaloupes” than valedictorians.
It seems Mr. Brown values science as he feels the GOP has "declared war on science and common sense" That common sense thing goes right along with knowing Steve King is a certifiable loon. (no offense meant to birds)

Brown's resignation letter:

   Dear Polk GOP Executive Committee Member,

     I am writing to inform you that I changed my voter registration to Independent today – severing all ties to the Republican Party. Having been a Republican all my life, I did not take this decision lightly.

     Having spoken with a pastor and having prayed about this for hours, I came to the conclusion that this is my only recourse. I’m disappointed with the Republican Party at the National level. I’m disappointed with the Republican Party at the Statewide level. I’m disappointed with the Republican Party at the Countywide level. I find it increasingly difficult to defend issues and statements made by Party leaders and officials from all three levels.

     I decided to get back in this arena following the “contentious” 2012 Polk County GOP Convention. I was upset by what happened at the conventions, and I entered into the arena with the intent to help fix the problems. However, I think this level of dysfunction is not going to be fixed any time soon.

      I donated time and financial resources to the Polk GOP and haven’t had a good return on my investment. In the 2000 Presidential Election, the Polk GOP lost Polk County by about 16,000 votes. In fall of 2000, the Polk GOP had no headquarters. The Polk GOP had no paid staff. The Polk GOP didn’t even have a working telephone number. Fundraising was minimal.

      In 2012, the Polk GOP lost Polk County by over 32,000 votes. Until 2002, Republicans were elected to the State House from Des Moines. In 2012, Republicans lost 2 State House seats in suburban, Republican-leaning districts and came two dozen votes from losing a third. Facts are stubborn things. I think we are now headed in the wrong direction on several fronts and regretfully must step aside.

     It’s my opinion that rather than fix the problems that led to such a massive 2012 defeat, the GOP does not seem to seriously want to fix the issues. I think helping a dysfunctional Party that does not want to address its problems is enabling. I do not believe in enabling. I debated this for weeks and am certain this is the only course.

     I wish you the best of luck,

      Chad Brown


Dr. Edward Flowden, fellow of the American Urology Association and the International Continence Society, today provided Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN with a treasure trove of documents detailing insidious invasions into the urinary tracts of American citizens, divulging all sorts of secret information on the contents of American's excretory systems.

Jesslyn Renalack immediately called for protection of this valuable whistle-blower. Several countries have offered Dr. Flowden asylum in exchange for his medical services. That offer is also being extended to Dr.'s  Bradley Mensing, gynecologist, and Julian Assange, proctologist.  

Dailykos plans to add Dr. Flowden as a medical correspondent on its prestigious front page.


Following a link I saw in a Tweet tonight I was led to an unbelievable POS at Talk Left.
TL is supposedly "The Online Magazine with Liberal coverage of crime-related political and injustice news" Bullshit.

It was like reading a Fox News report, but worse.

On President Obama's speech yesterday:

The most objectionable part of his comments: Not once did he express any empathy for George Zimmerman, the man who was acquitted who spent the past 16 months under the cloud of criminal charges, and who continues to have a target on his back.
emphasis mine

Empathy for a man who murdered an unarmed 17 year old?

I thought it couldn't get worse than that but it does.

More below the fold.

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Wed Apr 17, 2013 at 11:58 AM PDT

The Uncounted Victims

by Oke

Every person who witnessed the bombing, survived it, and especially those who were first responders, either professionally or voluntary,  are all victims of a heinous act of terror.
Today, two days past the bombing reality is hitting those people. Shock and adrenalin is wearing off. Chances are they aren’t sleeping well and when they are able to finally doze off out of exhaustion they dream images of the nightmare they witnessed. They see the eyes of that person they kept telling, “stay with me, look at me, look at me, you’re going to be okay.” After enough times of awakening with a racing heart, crying before you’re even fully awake you start to fight sleep. A task as simple as walking into a grocery store is too overwhelming to your senses. You feel like you’re going crazy.

How has PTSD touched your life?

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Mon Apr 15, 2013 at 08:18 AM PDT

Obama Is There For Our Children

by Oke

Over at Smartypants this morning I found this excellent piece, "How the Obama administration is taking on the achievement gap," it took me back in time to the struggles my children went through in school.

Last year I wrote about the fact that Obama's Department of Education had begun to collect information on civil rights and education - something that had stopped during the Bush administration. We now see that experts are studying that data and highlighting remedies. What they have found is that one in four black students have been suspended from school. And here are the consequences:

    These findings are of serious concern given that research shows being suspended even once in ninth grade is associated with a 32% risk for dropping out, double that for those receiving no suspensions.

But the Obama administration isn't just collecting data. You might have heard that the Department of Justice investigated the school district and law enforcement systems in Meridian, Mississippi for their gross violations of student's civil rights in disciplinary practices.

To have a minority child in the school systyem means as a parent you have to investigate closely what the situation was. Who was involved, what exactly was my child's involvement, how consequences were handed out to others that were involved? . It meant balancing between not protecting your child from natural consequences and making sure those consequences fit the act and were dealt out evenly between all parties involved.

By the time they were in middle school it became glaringly apparent to me the reality of the disparity in discipline between white students and minority students.

As a parent of bi-racial children I was diligent about teaching them what "playing the race card" was, and that it was not cool. If you broke the rules there were consequences, crying out "it's because I'm black" was bullshit if indeed they had acted inappropriately.  They had seen this take place, tried it a couple times themselves, but when the whole story came out and they were dead wrong I condoned their consequence and hoped lessons would be learned. Sadly, most of the time it was quite the opposite.

A couple of examples, out of many I could share are these:

    Daughter A is riding home on the bus. Another girl, white and in middle school, starts  picking on a young kindergarten student. Calling her names, throwing paper at the back of her head. After telling her to knock it off several times my daughter and the girl start exchanging words, they get to their bus stop, one where a large number of students get off. The verbal exchange continues and my daughter starts walking ahead with her sister and a couple other friends. The older girl catches up with my daughter and the argument starts again. This time the girl gets up in my daughter's face, pushes her and calls her a nigger. My daughter pushed her back hard enough to send her butt flying onto the ground. Given the large number of students getting off the bus the driver was still sitting up at the corner and saw this happen.
The next day I get a call from school, my daughter is getting suspended for three days. Up I go to the school office. My first issue is that this happened on private property quite a distance from the bus, not on the bus. "Well it started on the bus, so it's a school matter." Okay, I was hesitant but willing to accept that, until I found out that the other girl was not even called to the office, let alone being suspended. My protests finally led to the driver and other students being questioned about the other girls part in the incident. At that point the girl was given one day in school suspension, my daughter's punishment was still going to stand at a three day out of school suspension. Even though I had issues with the school being involved in an act that actually took place off of school property, I was willing to be flexible enough to agree that both girls put their hands on each other and needed a consequence for that, but a fair and impartial one.
I ended up having to take this issue to the district Supervisor's office.

Daughter B has her sister put a relaxer in her hair, unfortunately without my supervision, the outcome was that we had to get her hair cut clear down. She was in 7th grade at the time and inconsolable about her appearance until I came up with the idea of buying her several very pretty scarves to use as a head wrap until her hair had grown out a bit more. Now I'm not talking bandanas, I'm talking about nice scarves, ones that cost enough to blow the hell out of our very slim budget. But it was more than worth it to give her peace of mind, that didn't last long for either one of us. Her first day at school in one of these scarves got her sent to the office. It was "gang related attire" What? When did prints and flowers being come gang colors and/or signs? They were actually going to suspend her if she didn't quit wearing them. Eventually I raised enough hell that the Principal finally granted permission, but there was one particular teacher who kept sending her to the office claiming they were positive it was gang related. The only hand sign she knew in seventh grade was giving someone the bird, a sign I had to sit on my hands in order to not give to that teacher.  This was no inner city school district, although our income was nowhere close to it the median income in that district of +$80,000.00.
Gangs in the sense of what inner city schools contend with were non-existent in this district.

My entire day could be taken up writing one example after another of the blatant disparities, the assumptions that "if you're black and in my classroom you're trouble." Um, yeah,when you start from day one treating a child with suspicion and scorn while having a warm and positive attitude towards others, that teacher is creating a problem where should never be one.

Looking back on the situations my children were fortunate I was in a position to go to the school to advocate and when necessary fight for them. Many children weren't for multiple reasons. Those reasons ran a spectrum from the parents who do care have to choose between losing a job to take time during the day to go deal with the school, to the parents in the grips of substance abuse who barely provided minimal care for their child let alone paying attention to how they were being treated at school.

Whatever the reason, not only can parents not always be there, as parents of minority children we  shouldn't have to constantly monitor how our child is being treated by teachers and school administrators. The educators shouldn't be the people who show that prejudice, racism, and bigotry are still a part of our society.

For all those children who have so many gifts, so much potential, but yet have so many odds against them from the jump I am grateful that the Department of Education is active on this issue again.

As the author of the article points out, the "Cradle to Prison Pipeline" does exist. As parents, teachers, and taxpayers, we have an obligation to stop the destruction of our children.

Cross posted at Motley Moose


Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 08:51 PM PST

I Won't Be There, but Thankfully I'm Here

by Oke

The first part of October I got another respiratory infection, it seemed to have gone away and I was off at my usual pace very soon after finishing a round of antibiotics.

A very enjoyable visit from one of our children who lives on the West coast, a trip to San Francisco for another daughter's birthday and a visit with some of my husband's family.

Life moved along and I just kept blowing off that pesky little cough.

There were things to do. Another trip in order to take care of some unfinished business on the East coast. No time to stop and nurse a dang cold.

Then Monday morning I was awakened by a strange voice, restrained, with a tube down my throat, 1800 miles from home.

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Thu Jul 12, 2012 at 12:41 AM PDT

Why Aren't You Sleeping?

by Oke

If I was good at graphics I'd have a bunch of sheep jumping a fence for you to count, but I'm not that speedy, at least not tonight.

After many years of working night shift I'm a night owl. My best work is done in the wee hours of the morning, along with a lot of reading here.

As I read diaries this time of night there are more people than I'd expect commenting and hanging out.

So, "why aren't you sleeping?"

Are you a fellow night owl?

Something on your mind?

Just getting in from the club and itching to do some buzzed blogging?


Why Aren't You Sleeping?

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Sun Jul 08, 2012 at 02:09 PM PDT

He Came Home

by Oke

Several months ago I wrote a diary for NFTT, "Where's My Daddy?"
There was a lot of love and support both in comments and emails, so I wanted to let this great community know where her daddy is...

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After a run of busy days that took me away from here, with the exception of a quick peek from my phone along the way, I happened upon one of the most vile, misogynistic, slanderous, POS, diary that I've seen in seven and a half years. I won't even link to it,  but here is what was said about Elizabeth Edwards.

"I’m tired of people pretending that being diagnosed with cancer trumps treating your husband badly for years, and gaining 75 pounds."

"If you treat someone like crap but you’ve tied your ambition to theirs, and you call the shots because you’re a ball buster, don’t be surprised if your husband go off the rails and falls in love with someone who is pretty and tells him how smart and wonderful and sexy he is."

Gaining 75 lbs justifies betrayal? Tied her ambitions to his? Like she needed to?
Women don't need a man to tie their ambitions to. Elizabeth Edwards was a success of her own accord, in many roles, professionally and personally.
No woman, dead or alive, should be subjected to this kind of misogynistic evaluation.

My personal preference is to never rant without presenting a solution.

Both are over the golden kosbow.

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This diary is intended to somewhat inform, but mainly to send a message.

The inform part addresses the fact that no matter how anonymous we may feel we are it is an illusion.
Given enough time,  and obsession, anyone can comb your comments and diaries and piece together enough information about you as fodder for other venues of invading your privacy, whether that is by legal or illegal means.

Reading further than this may be puzzling, even boring. It is a personal venting of my feelings and opinions. It does NOT apply to any active member of this community, but only to a sick and obsessed lurker who blames me for their life changes and has been obsessed with following my every word in this community for some time now, and anything I've posted here since Nov 1st of 2004. This is what I have to say to them....

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Wed Mar 07, 2012 at 09:00 PM PST

Living Proof

by Oke

The last few weeks I have been absent for a variety of reasons, the main one being health issues. I have a serious issue with my thyroid. Nothing that can't be treated successfully, in fact I'm damn lucky it is what it is. But the side effects of the thyroid issues have wreaked havoc with my body physically and mentally.
Depression really hit hard for a few weeks, taking me to a dark place that I could have never pulled myself out of alone.

Being a part of this community has brought so much to my life. I have found quality friendships here over the years. There are some who turned out to not be who I thought they were, but what matters are treasured friends here who have held me up when I was down. Those folks have passed on valuable lessons and resources (I'll share one here) to deal with hurts and disappointments.

That brings me to the gratitude part of this post. There are many people here who have been put in my path over the years. As of late, I am deeply grateful for the friends who called and emailed. A simple email that says, "your absence has been noticed and it matters," means  so much.

My husband is a courageous man who made a lot of changes in his life to be a healthier, and consequently, a happier person. Those life decisions brought him an immense amount of pain, judgement, betrayal, condemnation and disrespect in ways he did not deserve.
As a result of his decisions I found my best friend and the love of my life.
Today we look forward to not just growing old together, but growing each day in love and friendship, another part of my life I am so grateful for.

He, my daughters, my family, and friends have been my saving grace the last few weeks.

The song below I dedicate to all of you who have been a part of my life, the good and the bad, to those who care about me and appreciate the person I am,  and even for those who don't. Each of you have taught me lessons and helped me grow in some aspect of my life.  
Most of all I dedicate it to my husband and my daughters, you are my living proof that it's okay to love. No matter who sets out to tear us apart, let them be miserable and try, it cannot be done.
Love and courage always prevail.

The words not only convey a message, the video alone is moving and carries it's own  strong message.


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