When I was in fourth grade, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend is funny, and he says he likes me, but I watched him beat up a first grader and take his lunch money. He talks a lot about his other friends, and he’s always making fun of them. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Son, be careful about being friends with someone who bullies people smaller and weaker than them. Also, someone who talks about their friends behind their backs is likely to talk about you as well.”
As always, my mother was wise, and I stopped being his friend.
When I was in Junior High, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend is popular, and he is fun to be around, but I watched him make fun of a handicapped person in our class, and he lies a lot about things that are not really important. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Son, be careful about being friends with someone who makes fun of people with handicaps. It indicates a lack of empathy. Also, someone who lies about small stuff will lie about big stuff as well.”
As always, my mother was wise, and I stopped being his friend.
When I was in high school, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend’s family has a lot of money and he spends it on people he likes, but when he is hired to mow lawns, he hires the children of illegal immigrants to do it, and then pays them half the amount he promised. When they complain, he threatens to tell the authorities about their parents. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Son, be careful about being friends with someone who takes advantage of those who live in the shadows of society, and who use their position of power and privilege to their own advantage. They will use anyone, even their friends.”
As always, my mother was wise, and I stopped being his friend.
When I was in college, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend is well known among certain circles, and he is rising in student government. It seems, however, like he is cavalier about the way he treats woman. When I talked to him about it, he said that he was a big man on campus, and could do anything he wanted with the girls, kiss them, touch them, grab them by their private parts, and no-one would do anything. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Son, be careful about being friends with someone who is unable to treat other people with dignity and respect, especially when it comes to sexual relationships. There is a fine line between coercion and rape, and it sounds like your friend doesn’t know the difference, and even worse, doesn’t care.”
As always, my mother was wise, and I stopped being his friend.
When I was in the workforce, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend has a good reputation at the office among his superiors, but the rest of us knows that he lies about his co-workers to make himself look good, and is casual about the way he handles the company finances. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Son, be careful about being friends with someone who uses others to advance their own careers. You may find yourself to be just another rung on the ladder, and in the worst case scenario, a conspirator in an embezzlement investigation.”
As always, my mother was wise, and I stopped being his friend.
When I was in my neighborhood, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend has a big house, and invites us over for dinner all the time, but I’ve heard that he is in incredible debt, and having multiple affairs, and he recently slept with two different women while his wife was recovering from childbirth. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Son, be careful about being friends with someone who can’t keep promises to important institutions and to the ones they say they love. If they are willing to break promises to these people, he will break promises to you.”
As always, my mother was wise, and I stopped being his friend.
When I was in America, I asked my mother about a friend of mine.
“Mother,” I asked, “My friend has become president, and it appears that he invited and encouraged the help of a foreign adversary to become elected. He has enlisted his personal attorney and his presidential attorney to lie for him to cover this up, and he is using his power to enrich his family. What do you think I should do?”
My mother thought for a moment, and said, “Yes, but doesn’t he also choose Supreme Court Judges?”