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Kirk Cameron is putting the Kirk Cameron back in Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas. Theoretically, it’s a documentary about how the origins of all Christmas traditions are based 100% on the Bible with zero pagan influence whatsoever, do you hear me you lying godless historians?! But here’s the kicker: even the evangelical fringe don’t belief that shit. It’s purely a Kirk Cameron thing—an ego-driven crusade to push his personal/delusional opinion of what human history ought to be (and therefore, ipso facto, is) on the evangelical masses.

Gosh, it must be really annoying for them to have a holier-than-thou, has-been TV heartthrob trying to shove his own personal Biblical interpretation down their throats. We can only imagine what that must be like.

According to Kirk, the Bible is the inspiration for Christmas trees and Dec. 25 is the actual day of Christ’s birth. Any insinuation otherwise is an attack on Christmas and the Christian faith itself. Which is weird, because it means even extremists like the Liberty Counsel (keepers of the “naughty or nice” list of retails who say “Happy Holidays”) and Sarah Palin (who is Sarah Palin) are fighting for the enemy.

“It’s important to know your roots. A lot of things we do today have pagan and pre-Christian origins,”says Mat Staver, founder and chairman of the Liberty Counsel.

“Does that mean Christians won the ‘war on Saturnalia’? You bet,” says Palin in her book Good Tidings and Great Joy.

I bet you didn’t realize that all you godless liberal whores are on the same side of the War on Christmas as Sister Sarah, did ya? Well, you are if you buy into Kirk Cameron’s reinterpretation of Palin’s reinterpretation of medieval Christianity’s reinterpretation of local religious traditions throughout Europe.

And woe be to anyone who questions the commercialism and gluttony of Christmas! In the Gospel of Kirk, even those things have Biblical origins and must be protected as sacred tradition!

(Details after the squiggle)

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Donald Trump is playing the race card. The white race card. As in, help, help, white people are being oppressed!

Yes, the scales of social justice are being tipped unfairly against white people, in Trump’s opinion, because, in his words:

How is ABC Television allowed to have a show entitled “Blackish”? Can you imagine the furor of a show, “Whiteish”! Racism at highest level?
First… “Highest level?” Bigger than, say, genocide? Or slavery? Hey, at least Trump put a nice “?” at the end so he can say, “I wasn’t saying it was the highest level, just raising the question.” The laziest defense of the race-baiting demagogue—which you are, Mr. Trump.

At a time when unarmed African-Americans are getting gunned down police in Missouri and elsewhere on a fairly regular basis, if not getting to name a TV show after your race is the “highest level” of racism you can come up with for your people, you should just shut the hell up.

Second… Allowed? It’s clear what authority he’s appealing to—the FCC? the PC police?—but won’t somebody come put these uppity black people back in their place.

Those darn black people with their special status and extra rights that the white man simply doesn’t have! It’s unfair, I tell you! Except… it’s unclear exactly what Trump’s grievance here is. Does he WANT to produce a show called white-ish? Nah. He just doesn’t like knowing that he can’t. No one is supposed to be able to say no to rich white people, dammit.

Of course, there’s no law against creating a white-ish TV show. It’s just that the public wouldn’t like it, wouldn’t watch it, and it would fail. That’s called the free market, and I’m pretty sure Republican douchebags like Donald Trump are supposed to be for it.

Sadly for Trump—but lucky for TV viewers—ABC has just expanded its order of black-ish from a half to a full season. It’ll run a full 22-episodes through the fall and spring. black-ish has held its Modern Family lead-in better than any other freshman sitcom has, attracting 8.3 million overall viewers this week—a phenomenal number for any sitcom, much less a newcomer.

Crossposted over at Wonkette spinoff blog Happy Nice Time People -- because
Donald Trump whining about TV being racist against white people is EXACTLY why Happy Nice Time People exists.

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The wacko rightwing evangelist have discovered another sign of the end times or at least the end of America as we know it... and this time, it happened right under their wacko rightwing evangelical noses on the Duggars' 19 Kids & Counting reality TV program!

When one of the Duggar spawn wore a T-shirt saying "I survived Roe vs Wade, Roe vs Wade Will Not Survive Me,” the evil network bigwigs totally went and aborted the Duggar families First Amendment rights and blurred the shirt out. Those liberal pinko atheist baby-killing bastards!!!

Inspired by kos's "nutpick-a-palooza" series, I went diving into the comments sections at various rightwing websites to find out what the crazies are saying... and I'm not exaggerating one bit when I say they're calling it a sign of the apocalypse.

Enjoy the madness after the orange squiggle.

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Republican AG candidate in Wisconsin admits you can't defend anti-gay laws unless you're willing to defend anti-black laws, too. WHICH HE TOTALLY IS.

Details below the orange squiggle...

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Wanna read some just stunningly racist shit? Me, either—but I just did so now I gotta write about it.

There’s this guy—Mathew Klickstein—who’s not really anybody in particular, but he wrote a book called SLIMED! An Oral History of Nickelodeon’s Golden Age so that makes him an expert of sorts on late 1980s-early 1990s children’s television.

Oh, and he’s also a racist, sexist scumbag.

In an interview with Flavorwire, Klickstein was asked about the lack of diversity in classic Nickelodeon shows, and damn. This guy LOVES how nice and white TV used to be:

I think it’s worse when they shove [diversity] in there. Sanjay and Craig is a really good example, which funnily enough is written in part by Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi from Pete & Pete. That show is awkward because there’s actually no reason for that character to be Indian — except for the fact that [Nickelodeon President] Cyma Zarghami and the women who run Nickelodeon now are very obsessed with diversity.

[…]

You’re saying, “If it doesn’t matter, then why not let them be Indian?” I’m saying, “If it doesn’t matter, why make them Indian?” There’s no reason for it.

Got that? Everyone on TV should be a white male unless there’s a REASON for them to be otherwise. White male is the default human setting. You don’t need a reason for a character to be a white male, but you MUST have a reason if he’s not.

He then white-splains to all the Indian people out there why THEY should be demanding all-white children’s TV shows even louder than he is:

If I were Indian or Jewish, for example, and watched something where the characters are Jewish or supposed to be, and if it’s not specific to that, then I start to wonder, “Why are they doing this?” It becomes blackface.
Yeah.

And just wait 'til you hear what he has to say about women on the other side of the orange squiggle.

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TV Chef Emeril Lagasse is cooking up a family-sized portion of his own foot, steeped in cayenne powder, cinnamon, and brown sugar, with just a hint of Tinactin Athlete’s Foot Cream—and then cramming the entire thing in his mouth.

“I have nowhere to go, really, other than broke,” whines Emeril, which is a weird thing for someone worth at least $50 million to say. But he’s just getting started. He’s mostly concerned about how narrow the margins are in the restaurant business… mostly. Fair enough, it’s a tough industry and most don’t make it. But Emeril’s made it past that hump. So what’s happening to drive this wildly successful, internationally famous restaurateur into unavoidable bankruptcy?

Yeah, that’d be Obama:

“Then you add all the Obama nonsense to what it’s become in the last several years—I don’t have anything against Obama,” he said. “I’m just saying the way that, you know, the government should stay out of things. They can’t do what they do right, never mind what I’m doing right.”
Add in Obama, and he’s got nowhere to go but broke. Hey, don’t get him wrong—Emeril’s got nothing against the guy. It’s just that Obama is driving him into bankruptcy and stealing all the food out of his kids’ mouths.

Or not.

First off, Emeril’s got a brand new reality show coming out on TNT this week, so he’s not going to be hard up for cash any time soon. Whew.

Okay, if he’s not actually going broke personally, what about his restaurants? Are they on the verge of financial collapse?

Emeril’s restaurant company was extremely quick to put out a statement saying they’re doing just fine, thank you very much. No matter what the boss is out there saying, the company itself wants to make damn sure everyone knows that no restaurant closures or layoffs or anything else bad is coming.

“The statement did not explain how Obama’s policies have specifically affected Lagasse’s restaurants. A representative for Lagasse declined to address follow-up questions about that aspect of the chef’s comments,” reports the New Orleans Times-Picayune.

“I have nowhere to go, really, other than broke,” he says.

Well, that’s just a lie, Emeril. If the only place you could possibly go is broke, you’d be getting the hell out of the restaurant business. But you’re not. Your money is nowhere near where your mouth is, possibly because there’s too much foot in there already.

Crossposted at Happy Nice Time People

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Tired of all those moochers living off your tax dollars with their fancy… crossing guards??

Yes, crossing guards. The ones who stop traffic and wave to parents in school zones as little children cross the street. It’s an outrage, I tell you! And it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back for local news anchor Matt Pieper of News 12 in the Bronx, who couldn't help himself but drop an F-bomb on government-dependent freeloaders everywhere in a brief, out-the-cuff rant on live television.

Transcript and link to video after the orange squiggle.

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Okay, actually he's singing "Give Pizza a Chance"... mixed in with "Imagine There's No Pizza." From back in his Godfather's CEO days, of course. Enjoy.

(If you're worried that he's singing dirty, filthy hippie music, don't worry - he's corrupting it for crass commercialism. That makes it okay.)

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The district attorney in Juneau County, Wisconsin, has issued a letter to five public school districts warning that if teachers include contraceptives in their sex ed curriculum (as required by state law), they could be subject to arrest and prosecution for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

The D.A.’s name is Scott Southworth, and he is (of course) a Republican. He argues that teaching teenagers about contraceptives will encourage them to have sex, and encouraging teenagers to have sex is criminal offense.

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What’s the Republican game plan for winning back the Senate?  We now have the answer.  The NRSC just threw its cards on the table for everybody to see.  No secret sources or brilliant investigative journalism required.  

I first started to realize something was up when one of my Senators -- Lamar! Alexander (R-TN) to be exact -- issued a press release today that uses the phrase "tyranny of the majority" no less than four times including the title.

Here’s a little taste:

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Boo!!

President Obama is wussing out stem cell research, allowing federal funding only for research involving embryos from fertility clinics rather than those created specifically for scientific research.  This is the same plan favored by former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN).  

Granted, it’s a hell of a lot better than  President Bush’s policy to only allow research on existing lines of stem cells and no new ones whatsoever.

But there are important reasons why scientists want to clone embryos for stem cells for scientific research, which apparently Obama will not allow funding for. Among them, scientists want the stem cell DNA to exactly match patients to avoid rejection and other problems.

This is a big disappointment, Mr. President.

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If money talks, Tennessee’s progressive bloggers have found their voice!  

This week, we planned and launched a surprise fundraiser for the Tennessee Democratic Party (and it’s kick-ass new chair Chip Forrester).

No one at the state party had advance notice what we were doing.  But believe me, they noticed pretty damn fast once it launched!

We beat the absolute hell out of our fundraising goal – and it’s not too late to donate over at ActBlue if you want to support the cause.

We hope this will serve as an inspiration and template for regional bloggers throughout the country.  This is stunning success and proof that local blogs can make a real-world impact!  Check out the victory press release we just sent to the media all across Tennessee below.

Congrats to R. Neal at Knoxviews.com for coming up with the surprise fundraiser and making it happen!

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