The time has finally come—after 10,000 long years—for women to fight for their right to their children.
One by one, women are shocked as their children are systematically and methodically taken away from them and given to the father after separation or divorce. They do not realize, until it is too late, that children are still, in effect, property of the father, and the systems in place, including family, juvenile and criminal courts, social services and law enforcement, serve to maintain paternal power and control. Women have no idea that they will have to fight tooth and nail just to keep custody of or to protect their children if the father decides he wants to take them—for whatever reason—and that, in the process of fighting for them, they will be emotionally and financially devastated.
The fact is men have had control over women and children since patriarchy took hold thousands of years ago. Patriarchy literally means “rule of the father” and it gave men ownership of “their” women and children. Men could use and abuse them with impunity. Although First Wave feminists fought for the right to their children, they were not successful, and Second Wave feminists concentrated on achieving equality outside the home, leaving this one major battle left to be fought.
This much-coveted male entitlement was only first seriously threatened when women gained the ability to be financially independent in the ‘70’s and divorce became common. At about the same time, child support began being enforced, giving men an additional financial reason for wanting custody.
New strategies emerged to maintain the father’s power and control in "his" family through controlling children after separation or divorce. A false finding of “parental alienation” against the mother, or some version of custodial interference, is the most common tactic used to switch custody to the father. A false finding of mental illness became common as well. This is a continuation of the age-old labeling of women who dare challenge male authority liars or crazy.
Women have been gag-ordered, jailed or threatened with jail in order to silence them about the discrimination, while the general public has been duped into thinking women have the advantage to custody. This has kept the crisis under wraps in the past, but women are now coming out on social media to speak out, sometimes at great risk to themselves.
Control of children is the most coveted patriarchal entitlement persisting to this day and it will not be given up without a major battle. Until now, women who have had their children taken have been silenced and others have been deceived. But third-millennial women are realizing they are still subjugated to men through their children and that they will not be truly free until they gain the power to keep and protect them.
Martin Luther King said, "Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."
The time has come finally, in this third millennium, for women—half the population—to rise up together and demand the power to keep and protect their children, fully freeing them from men’s power and control for the first time in written history.
A great civil rights battle is brewing…
Cindy Dumas, M.A.
Director, The Women’s Coalition
Website: The Women's Coalition
Facebook: The Women’s Coalition
Pictured: Women who have had their children taken and have been jailed or threatened with jail.
Research and statistics supporting this article:
Dr. Phyllis Chesler, “Mothers on Trial”
Louise Armstrong, M.A., “Rocking the Cradle of Sexual Politics”
Dr. Amy Neustein, “From Madness to Mutiny: Why Mothers Are Running from the Family Courts and What Can Be Done about It”
Dr. Leora Rosen, “Beyond The Hostage Child: Towards Empowering Protective Parents”
Approximately 75% of contested custody cases involve abusive or violent men. [Jaffe, Crooks & Poisson, 2003]
Most of the remaining 25% is estimated by experts in the field to involve indirectly abusive fathers fighting for custody to get out of child support, get revenge at wives for leaving, and/or retain control (about 15%). Only about 10% of contested cases appear to involve good faith efforts by fathers. [Barry Goldstein, J.D. et. al.]
These numbers indicate that men should be winning in less than 10% of contested cases and women in more than 90%, but men are actually winning in 70% and women in only 30%. [American Judges Assn.] In cases which involve sexual abuse, fathers win custody 90% of the time [Neustein and Goetting, 1999].
58,000 children a year are ordered into the custody of abusers and molesters. [Leadership Council]