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New battle lines being drawn after legalization of recreational marijuana in Colorado

Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's, suggested that the revolving door between the mainstream media and Doritos is "embedded deeper than the gobs of chocolate chip, cookie dough, and fudge brownies in Ben and Jerry's Half Baked, our flagship product."


Updated 4:20 pm, Sunday, January 5, 2014

DENVER (Loiters) — As Colorado kicks off the new year as the first state in the US to allow the sale of recreational marijuana, the battle between US federal drug laws and state laws have taken a back seat to a new battle between makers of snacks that cater to a booming market of hungry marijuana users.

In a statement released this morning by Hostess Brands, the makers of Twinkies, the management responsible for sending the once-profitable company into Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in 2012 accused the mainstream media of creating the impression not only that Doritos is the junk food of choice by users of recreational marijuana, but also that it is the only tasty food consumed by stoners.

In the press release, Twinkies spokesperson Olivia Kraft-Quiznos stopped short of accusing the mainstream media of being in the back pocket of Frito-Lay, the makers of Doritos, the tasty snack beloved by Americans of all stripes independent of their position on the issue of legalization of recreational marijuana.

During an afternoon press conference later in the day, Ms. Kraft-Quiznos, a major player responsible for the loss of over $100 million of shareholders' money, asserted that "Deep-fried Twinkies were the food of choice among potheads fried on Master Yoda and Super Lemon Haze. Twinkes was also a major sponsor of both the Cannabis Cup and the Million Marijuana March in 2013, yet all the mainstream media could talk about was Doritos, Doritos, Doritos."

Alex Nutella, Chief Marketing Officer at Frito Lay, rebuffed this claim, asking rhetorically, "What stoner in his or her right mind would pay to eat the deep-fried leftover inventory of a company under Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection?" Alex B. Toklas, manager of flavor engineering at Doritos and active participant in both events last year, added, "I don't actually remember either event, but as a discriminating connoisseur of Sour Amnesia I know I would have remembered if I ate any Twinkies during my Rocky Mountain high."

Other makers of snacks, such as Oreos, Pepperidge Farm, and Cosmic Brownies, disagreed with this assessment, some going so far as to accuse Frito Lay of lining the pockets of the mainstream media. Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's, suggested that the revolving door between the mainstream media and Doritos is "embedded deeper than the gobs of chocolate chip, cookie dough, and fudge brownies in Ben and Jerry's Half Baked, our flagship product."

In a widely anticipated follow-up to his controversial op-ed piece on marijuana legalization in the New York Times (, the moderate conservative David Brooks wrote that "for a little while in my teenage years, my friends and I ate Twinkies. They were yummy." However, added Mr. Brooks, "we all sort of moved away from Twinkies. . . . I think we had a sense, which all people have, or should have, that Doritos not only are tastier, but bite-for-bite have far fewer calories."

Mr. Brooks cautioned that, "[m]any people these days shy away from talk about the moral status of Twinkies consumption because that would imply that one sort of food you might eat is better than another snack. In healthy, sophisticated societies, however, governments should subtly encourage the highest gustatory pleasures, such as smoked salmon caviar roulade or pâté de foie gras."

At the time of this publication, Mr. Brooks was unavailable for comment. On Twitter, Mr. Brooks, who goes by the handle of Occasional Spliffmeister, wrote, "Off for the weekend to Aspen with Bubba Kush (Ruth Marcus"


Is the mainstream media biased in favor of Doritos?

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According to a journalist friend who works for the AP, Ted Kennedy came to Harrisburg, PA, in 2004 to stump for John Kerry and said the following:

"This administration doesn't do what it says and doesn't say what it's going to do," he said.

Funny, I'm starting to feel that way about a few critically important things from the Obama administration--recognizing full well that my definition of "critically important things" may differ greatly from that of many people who live in the US, such as the state secrets privilege, signing statements, contracts to Xe Services LLC (formerly Blackwater), access to high-powered lobbyists, etc.


How much coverage has the Sibel Edmonds' deposition received in the US?

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Forget about what's up Savana Redding's ass, what's up Clarence Thomas's?

WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court said Thursday school officials acted illegally when they strip-searched an Arizona teenage girl looking for prescription-strength ibuprofen.

In an 8-1 ruling, the justices said that school officials violated the Fourth Amendment ban on unreasonable searches when ordered Savana Redding to remove her clothes and shake out her underwear.

Redding was 13 when Safford Middle School officials in rural eastern Arizona conducted the search. They were looking for pills - the equivalent of two Advils. The district bans prescription and over-the-counter drugs and the school was acting on a tip from another student.

See this is why I support the full legalization of all drugs. If only the administration had permitted Advils in the school medicine cabinet, they wouldn't have to perform a body search on a student to relieve their headaches.


What's up Clarence Thomas's ass?

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I am just sick and tired of hearing people criticize Republicans on the economy. These commie liberal turban worshippers may rant and rag, but they will never mention the pivotal role that recent Republican presidential candidates have played in giving rise to a completely new genre of writing, one where you mix both fiction and nonfiction, and no one knows which is which!

Contrary to what you lib'ruls think, Republicans are not only experts in creating new jobs, but also experts in creating new job categories. Before George W. Bush came along, this genre did not exist. Since his inauguration in January 2001, this category of writing has come to dominate the American literary landscape, and with the help of God, John McCain, and Sarah Palin, this genre will be our number one export within the next however many years they manage to stay in office.


The McCain-Palin campaign

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I'm just watching the debate now, one day behind most everyone else because I'm information-starved in this remote corner of the globe and because I don't own a television.

I've just gotten to the part, about 12-15 minutes into the debate, where McCain points out that "We have former members of Congress now residing in federal prison because of the evils of earmarking and pork-barrel spending." Then, accusing Obama of asking for over $900 million in such spending, he suggests "that people go up on the website of Citizens Against Government Waste" (CAGW).

So, like a good Republican I visit the CAGW site, and boy, am I glad I found about all this corruption in government. Now, I don't know sh_t from Shinola, but I do know that Wikipedia and Sourcewatch are liberal-commie front groups. Here's the evidence (my emphases). I know it's not definitive proof, but I'd appreciate it if folks would refrain from labeling me a crazed right winger:

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