What do you do when you have a scream inside you that can't come out? What do you do when your world shifts in a way you suddenly get the wake up call - you have no control? What do you do when the one person you have counted on to be there for you, now needs you and you have no one else to turn? What do you do?
Today was the 21st anniversary of my husband's hiring with his current employer, a public employer (our county), union job. 21 fucking years there. 21 fucking years of putting up with being demeaned by management while getting rave reviews from his immediate supervisors. 21 years of sucking it up to provide for his family. 21 years of being denied promotions. 21 years of having one asshole waging a personal vendetta against him, the same one who happily helped my husband celebrate his 21st fucking anniversary by sitting there and grinning while they laid him off. Am I a little bitter? Yea, I am. So is he, in fact, he is devastated. And my heart cries for him.
"Tort reform" Def: A boondoggle - for us. A heyday, payday - for the corporations.
In my thirties, in a search to find some purpose in my life beyond mother and wife, I discovered law. Yes, law. (Insert greedy attorney jokes here). But what I discovered the importance of all those things I had learned in government class and civics class in high school. Economic reality did not allow me to attend law school, so I have worked as a paralegal for the last few decades. There are others here who are more well versed in this subject, more eloquent in their prose, more precise in their sources. But this is one subject I have been passionate about for over 20 years.
So how do you like your coffee?
take it easy.
Okay, never been a huge fan of the Foghat, but I love the line, we all need to slow down and take it easy now and again. In the last few years I finally came to the realization, I need to slow down, I need to make an effort to enjoy the remainder of my life. As we all know, and hate to admit, it can end too soon and too suddenly.
So I was fortunate enough, blessed, honored and lucky enough to trek to Hawai'i last year. As fate would have it, we had planned our trip and then my mother passed. To go there after such a heart wrenching experience was truly healing. We returned again this year, and I hope we will return again, for many more years to come.
I'd like to share the beauty that we were fortunate enough to experience there. So if you dare, please join me...
Too often, I feel I have lived in a state of constant outrage, a state I am constantly trying to escape. One way to escape is my addiction to instant gratification here on the internets. My name is dansk47 and I am caught up in the instant gratification syndrome. Are you? My comments (how many recs did I get?), the tweets (how many followers? three, my god I am a failure!), add on balancing work, the family and then throwing in the current unfortunate divisive state of our American Life, I feel I am 10 feet under.
This feeling of being overwhelmed, too often rushed and always under pressure, in a perpetual state of "hurry," needing to get from point A to point B before humanly possible is wearing. Through it all I hope and strive to find some form of validation, satisfaction or happiness in my life. But along the way it is easy to miss the simple answers to those things I seek, the true happiness, the validation and the satisfaction of helping someone else.
On a day when hundreds of kossacks from all over the world leave their lairs in Pittsburgh suffering the ravages of days of politics and parties, a small brave group of kossacks will go where no others have ever gone, they are the trailblazers.
They will brave the terror of the Banfield, climb the Sylvan Hills only to roll down the other side facing the chilling prospect of navigating the Sunset Highway. They will drive the I-5 slog into Portland, the bravest will come face-to-face with the Terwilliger curves, a task not for the faint-of-heart, then stoically head into the heart of Washington County. Others will leave the safety of SE and venture into the fringe of suburbia.
Why, why would they do this, to face such dangers? What is their goal, their destination?
I like that quote - I always have. I remember Lady Bird Johnson. I loved her for her respect of nature, and wildflowers. I vividly remember the war we watched on tv, how can anyone my age forget it? Death and destruction brought to us nightly as we ate our supper, our minds digesting the body count as our body digested our dinner. I guess I loved her for the focus she brought to something that so simple, so beautiful and was not the horror we saw on the nightly television news.
Every fall, as I prepare my yard for the winter I begin anticipating the wonders of joy and beauty it will give the next spring. The hope for something better, more beautiful and spectacular as each small petal unfurls itself, producing a miracle that nothing created by mankind can compare with.
The cursor blinks - waiting for something to happen. The words do not come. So we type the random thoughts that run through our minds waiting for the inspiring first line to come to us. The process is painful, the words do not come. So we walk away, leaving our thoughts unspoken, unrecorded. But the thoughts are there, the idea is there, the inability to complete our good intent however is there too.
Tonight, there is a music that you will never hear, there is a joy that you will never experience, there is a young man, that will never grow, there is a void in the hearts of those who knew him.
The circumstances of his life, to me, are truly unknown. I have heard stories but who knows what is fact and what is fiction. I do know that his father lived on one coast and his mother on another and his decision to align with one over the other rendered him homeless and that is how he came into our lives.
Yes folks you heard it here first! Democracy is the right to dissent. On June 12, 2008 the same group of folks that brought you the "no fly" list and the the free speech "zone" "explain[s] that dissent gave birth to the United States and that freedom of speech is a critical mechanism of democracy and therefore guaranteed in the First Amendment to the Constitution."
We have all had a long day, that is putting it lightly. Then, it's Friday the 13th for all of us who suffer the dreaded triskdecaphobia it was even longer. And for those of us whose bosses were out of town at the beach and calling with a laundry list of "things that had to be done today," it got worse. And to top it all off I am a native Iowan, my family is still there are I worry about my family and friends and my native soil washing away while I sit helpless thousands of miles away. I guess you could say, I have it all! Personally I need a break. I really need a fun diary - I missed Cheers and Jeers when all the cool kids were there and really wanted to splash around in the kiddie pool. And the way my day is going, I'm sure such a diary was posted while I struggled with this. Nevertheless...
She lay on the grass, a vibrant, vivid green only seen in a northwestern American spring. The green that glows in the late day sun. Her skin is ivory, glowing translucently, lit from within. Her face flawless and at peace. Her golden hair flows free like strands of silk in the wind. A light rises behind her, revealing the perfection in her exsistence.
I awake. The light of a new day attempts to creep into my room through the slates of the shades on my window invading my day, trying to steal this scene of peace and serenity. But her vision is not one that will leave. It stays with me, and comforts me.
She is not a lover, nor a mate, nor a sister. She is, she was, a friend. She is young and but now she has left her earthly home.
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