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You've probably all heard about how a bunch of treasonous Confederate-wannabees are signing secession petitions on the White House "We the people" petition site.

I'm pleased to report that trolls have now been striking back with a vengeance.

First, one you should all sign.

Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America.

Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America.

Also sign the one I just created about Biden and The Onion

Poll

Onion Joe Biden? Great VP or Greatest VP?

23%26 votes
74%82 votes

| 110 votes | Vote | Results

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While we're all recovering from yesterday's exciting result, I wanted to share this amazing Cory Booker story with those who haven't seen it yet.

So post-hurricane Sandy, as he as tended to do when disaster strikes (whether it be snowstorms or burning buildings), Cory Booker has been borrowing  Nate Silver's wizard dust and utterly dominating his constituent's needs on Twitter. Then this happened.

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So apparently Matt Drudge has come out saying Condoleeza Rice is the front-runner to be Mitt's VP. Personally, I'd have gone with three other possibilities that would better balance the ticket

  • Half of Chris Christie (because all of him wouldn't balance)
  • Rick Santorum (because then we've got dog on car on top, man on dog on the bottom)
  • Bain Capital (because what better way to show that "corporations are people, my friends")

And as it turns out, he has a terrible track record, going for Frank Keating (OK Governor) for Bush in 2000, Hillary for Kerry in 2004, and Evan Bayh in 2008. It's the last, though that brings a smile to my eyes. Because it inspired the "falme"

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So there's obviously been a lot of talk about the Texas GOP's craziness in their 2012 platform on wanting to eliminate the Voting Rights Act, bring back the gold standard and stop teaching kids critical thinking skills.  But there's a lot of crazy that doesn't seem to have been covered yet.

The craziest provision I haven't seen discussed takes to new extremes the GOP doctrine that government regulation begins and ends at the vagina. This doesn't even involve abortion or birth control.
 

Gestational Contracts - We believe rental of a woman’s womb makes child bearing a mere commodity to the highest bidder and petition the Legislature to rescind House Bill 724 of the 78th Legislature. We support the adoption of human embryos and the banning of human embryo trafficking.
Oh, and they also favor a health insurance mandate (for temporary workers) and possibly RFID tagging non-citizens. (I seriously hope I'm misreading that provision).
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We've all heard about Michigan State Representative Lisa Brown's saying "vagina" on the House floor. I'm going to mostly ignore that and Jewish issue, although I do think the right-wing Christians in the Michigan legislature ought to be more respectful when it comes to Jewish vaginas seeing as their god came out of one.

Anyway, as you may recall, a Republican member of the legislature, Rep. Mike Callton was very disturbed by her remark

"What she said was offensive," Callton told The Detroit News. "It was so offensive, I don't even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company."
While Mr. Callton may be an upstanding man who limits his discussion of vaginas to nights out with the guys, sadly, far too many members of his party are only too quick to say "vagina" in the Congress.
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 at 07:05 PM PST

    

by DemocraticLuntz

I don't think I'm allowed to say the kinds of things I want to say about Georgia in the title, and technically I only promised I wouldn't post entirely blank diaries, so I'm going with blank title.

Because seriously, WTF!

A Democrat is sponsoring the "personhood" amendment

In the Senate, the sponsor will be Barry Loudermilk, R-Cassville – no surprise, given his pro-life reputation. In the House, the sponsor will be Rick Crawford of Cedartown.

Here’s the thing: Crawford is a Democrat.

“I’m from rural Georgia,” he said. “I have to be well in step, and people have to trust me to represent their interests. It’s not a surprise to anyone that I’m pro-life. This is a discussion that is appropriate for us to have.”


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So I decided what with Newt rising in the polls and having a shot at becoming the new anti-Romney candidate, I'd see what I could find in Google Archives. Yeah, unlike Sarah Palin, he's been picked over and I wasn't going to discover something like that rape kit billing story, but I was hoping to at least find some amusing things.

And I think I did. First on the list, from 1983:

It is in the interest of the Republican Party and Ronald Reagan to invent new black Republicans, so to speak

Amusingness aside, I think he may want to "Cain" himself for wishing that, so to speak.

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Yes, Trump's hair is what I've been up to.

Okay, I'm not being entirely serious (but that's not a new thing). But I'm not being entirely silly either.

While I certainly have my doubts that the hair itself was created in America, or for that matter on the planet, it's not the hair itself that's kept me busy. It's all about the hairstyle.

The lattice-based hairstyle.

 

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I've obviously not been around much lately. I could explain why in words, but they say a picture is worth 1000 words. Is it?

I guess not, since I clearly still have to explain myself.

To the left is San Joaquin County, California, gerrymandered into 8 nearly equally populated fake Congressional districts. And man, are they gerrymandered. Tom DeLay only wishes he could've made Texas look that funky while remaining contiguous.

I just wish the goofiness had been my goal ... or my goal via software, anyway. Because I did not create that map manually. I don't think such an unholy abomination is possible without the aid of a computer.

Fortuantely, I fixed the problem causing this monstrosity and the software now generally produces relatively compact districts when equalizing population between districts.  

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Okay, so we've now moved out of OMG Scott Brown/corporate campaign spending mode and into I got something right here for you to freeze, Mr. President mode.

One thing I haven't seen anyone address:

If Obama can get a 59-41 Senate/256-178 House Democratic Congress to support a hard spending freeze for three years, well, I'd say I'd eat my hat except I'm the Hat Thief and stolen merchandise tastes nasty.

Seriously, though, anyone who thinks that Obama can get Congress to fully support a hard freeze hasn't paid attention to Congress.

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I have to say, I am a little bit surprised that the "U.S. occupation of Haiti" meme does not seem to have been covered here yet. I'm also rather glad , since it means that it hasn't been endorsed yet.

The glorious leader of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, began this meme several days ago, with his weekly television address

Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez has joined the likes of televangelist Pat Robertson and radio host Rush Limbaugh by making an outlandish statement about Haiti in the wake of last week’s devastating earthquake.

Speaking on his weekly television show, Chavez opined that the U.S. mission in Haiti was a ruse to initiate military occupation.

"I read that 3,000 soldiers are arriving, Marines armed as if they were going to war," Chavez said. "They are occupying Haiti undercover."

My initial thought upon reading this was, "Hey, isn't it great! Back in the day Pat Robertson used to push for assassinating Hugo Chavez. Today, the Haiti earthquake is bringing them together in the arena of making outlandish statements."

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Most people have heard of the famous Exxon Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound in 1989. The incident occurred because Captain Joseph Hazelwood was smashed when he got onto the ship to begin piloting, with an estimated BAC between .14 and .37 at the time of the crash. The jury awarded $5 billion in punitive damages (which the courts struck down, ruling that in the specific type of case at hand, punitive damages are capped at an amount equivalent to the compensatory damages ($287 million).

The incident was covered in great depth by the Anchorage Daily News. It was probably their greatest story in the pre-Palin era.

One thing I didn't know, though, is that they still haven't finished cleaning it up. Why?

As you can imagine, I'm really taken aback by the culprit, so I'll just let the headlines tell it. Gravel Causing Problems Decades after Oil Spill

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