Stock Photo Image. This article is satire.
It is estimated that as many as 40% of professional workers can no longer find part of their professional attire. With so many Americans pants-less, the return to a normal office environment may take some time.
[This is Satire.]
In news being welcomed around the globe, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has confirmed that a cure has been developed for the Novel Coronavirus, Covid-19. The success of the treatment was confirmed by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the White House, the World Health Organization and most international health and science organizations.
President Donald Trump hailed the development of the treatment and said,"Finally, I’ve cured America of this bogus Democrat hoax disease, and now America and the world can get back to work!" More than 110,000 Americans died as a result of the non-hoax disease.
Most Americans and business executives welcomed the news that scientists around the globe had shared resources to find a treatment. In cities worldwide, people rushed out to amusement parks, movies, restaurants and bars, while others reveled at parties and enjoyed the remaining days of summer.
The news was met with some trepidation by many professionals, however, as they are not certain of their ability to return to their traditional office workplaces.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm really overjoyed that we've overcome this horrible disease and that our economies and personal lives and freedoms can return to normal," said Erick Schmidt, a CPA at the Dallas offices of an international accounting firm. "But I'm embarrassed to say that, after two months of working remotely, I can't find my pants."
Schmidt says he thinks he may have left several pairs of slacks at the local dry cleaners back in February.
Like millions of professionals, Schmidt worked from a home office while the pandemic caused most cities and states to issue stay-at-home orders of some degree. It is estimated that as many as 40% of professional workers can no longer find part of their professional attire. With so many Americans pants-less, the return to a normal office environment may take some time.
"I still got up every day and worked from my home office," he said. "But to be honest, I rarely dressed in more than shorts or pajama bottoms, and often only wore a t-shirt or flannel shirt."
"Of course, when I had to get on video conferences with my boss or clients, I would put on a work-appropriate dress shirt, but down below I was still in super-casual mode." He explained that his footwear for the last 3months rarely extended beyond house slippers and sandals.
"I'm ready for regular life to get going again," said Schmidt,"but I might need some time to figure out my wardrobe again."
[The above article is totally fictitious satire. I will welcome the eventual vaccine, cure or treatment of the coronavirus when it is developed, but unfortunately, we are not there yet.]
