Oh Todd, That's So Funny I Forgot to Laugh

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Tuesday July 15, 2014 · 6:35 AM PDT

2014/07/15 · 06:35

Oh, Todd. After ruining your political career on a St. Louis TV station you want to teach us what it feels like to be Joe McCarthy. Because media.

In today's Post-Dispatch, Chuck Raasch reveals that in an interview with Todd Akin the former Congressman said that he and Joe were "assassinated by the media."

Todd whines that the media distorted what he said about "legitimate rape" and unwanted pregnancy on TV. Todd, did your lizard brain maybe distort what you remember were your own words: "...the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down."

We know what it's like when your pr people hand you index cards with typos. It so wasn't your fault.

Oh, Todd, we know how you feel when you can't take back what you "misspoke." We understand what it's like when we, like, feel bad about apologizing for our shopping list. It's like, you know, ditching a name brand ketchup for a store brand squeeze bottle of catsup. "I didn't literally mean catsup." I'm like, let's get some perspective here, ok? And the media is, like, not dropping it.

And then all of Todd's Republican friends weren't nice to him. Sen. Roy Blunt and others, Akin said, "came out onto the battlefield and tried to dispatch me" from it.
Oh, Todd, did it feel like when your fraternity brothers gave you movie tickets during freshman rush? It must have been terrible for you. You must have felt worse than those girls who were raped in said fraternity house. They will help you heal, Todd. Misery loves company.

I, for one, will be at the gun show today for your book signing. I'm wound up tighter than a girdle on a Baptist preacher's wife.

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