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The events detailed in I cried when I got home became a turning point in my life. I became more active here and elsewhere and more receptive to listening to others' pain. But someone had to die to spur me to the streets.  

Last Thursday, my husband and I drove downtown in our city to join other folks here in Raleigh and around the country in expressing our outrage at the lack of indictment against the police officer who killed Eric Garner.

As usual, there were way more black folks there than white folks, which infuriated me. Didn't everyone see how unfair this all was? Where were the rest of the white people in this majority-white city?

On Tuesday, I saw this article, which shows that though most white people might believe that the police officer who killed Eric Garner should have been indicted (they ain't so sure about Darren Wilson), they also largely believe that the police in their own town or city are treating black folks just fine. And then I understood.

Apparently, most white people still don't believe this is an issue black people face anywhere and everywhere. They see it as just a case of a few "bad apples." So how is it that I and some other white people can see so clearly that the issue of police brutality is institutionalized and happening to people of color all over this country and are marching in the streets, but most other white folks cannot and are not? What is different about us?

I suppose we could look at how most white Americans don't have friends of color. Self-segregation does make it easier for white folks to tune out folks of color. But the thing is, in real life, I have no friends of color, merely a couple of acquaintances. So I'm not sure having no friends of color is the sole issue.  We could also look at how the history of racism is even taught in schools, but again, I went to the same schools and received the same terrible education about race relations as most of the other white students.

In wracking my brain to try and figure this out the past few days, I was thinking about how I progressed from being a confused young white teenager who noticed something odd about race relations in this country way back during the LA riots of 1992 to a determined white woman out in the streets of Raleigh last week, eyes fully open to the racist framework of our injustice system. As with anything else in life, my thinking on this issue grew organically based on the people I met and what they said, how they behaved.

But it hit me Monday night precisely how I personally began to understand why police brutality against people of color is a major issue, and how I personally went from railing against injustice from behind my computer screen to getting out on the streets to protest. Follow me below the squiggly-do for more.

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Mon Aug 25, 2014 at 06:04 AM PDT

Discounting Black Pain

by moviemeister76

It comes as no surprise to some of us that there is a racial gap in the perception of what has been happening in Ferguson. This same gap existed in the Zimmerman trial. Saying that white Americans are largely racist isn't exactly a radical idea. But what I am more concerned about is why so many white Americans seem unable to empathize with black communities, black people who are so obviously in pain.

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The owner of Woolworth's is a racist asshole.

Anyway, I don't care much about social positions. Carnegie was pro-black people? That shouldn't make me forget how much he hated unions! Rockefeller was pro-black people? That shouldn't make me forget what a tyrant he was in the oil industry. But a lot of us just look at their activism and cheer them on. In my opinion, big business are all on the same side.

Just about every company owner wants no government regulations but huge government handouts. All these companies were really into openly supporting all forms of segregation until we raged and drew attention to it. You know what? Now they just quietly support it.

We are being incredibly single-minded about this. Woolworth's is not nearly as bad as some other companies out there right now. Have you seen what the prisons have been doing? I bet after we get Woolworth's to change, we'll continue to buy the same stuff, only to find out the money has ended up funding the Dixiecrats.

If we boycotted every company that enforced segregation, we'd starve. And maybe die. We should be focusing on a company that is especially bad (financing death squads or operating sweatshops or something), not a five and dime store that just won't allow black people to sit down and eat. There are much bigger fish to fry than that.

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Tue Mar 27, 2012 at 12:14 AM PDT

I cried when I got home

by moviemeister76

I have been sitting here debating whether or not to write this diary. Anyone who checks my history can see I usually do not. This diary is not political. It's not about Democrats or Republicans in particular. It's not about contraception or transvaginal ultrasounds. Instead, this is my attempt to come to grips with the fact that Monday evening, I became just another woman whose voice was silenced by a group of men, which led to me crying on my husband's shoulder tonight in anger and shame. This is a more personal examination of what the War on Women looks like in a classroom. Follow over the squiggly if you want to work through this with me.

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My husband and I voted for Obama last Friday. We had been planning for it for a few weeks now, and we walked out of the voting booth with huge smiles on our faces.

I've been celebrating with everyone I know, calling them up and sharing in the excitement. I called my mom today to do the same. What she told me gave me a huge shock.

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Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 12:06 PM PDT

Obama didn't win the debate

by moviemeister76

Like many on this site, I was surprised to find out that the majority of Americans polled thought Obama won Friday night's debate. I thought for sure it was going to go the other way. I have been sitting here all weekend breathing a sigh of relief. I have also been scratching my head, trying to figure out why what I saw was so different than what so many others did. It finally hit me today: Barack Obama lost the debate.

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So, something happened to me today that I can't wrap my mind around. Just as some background, I attend North Carolina State University, located in Raleigh. I am a returning female student who just turned 32 last month.

I have been supporting Senator Obama pretty much since January. NC State has volunteers at the Brickyard (where most activist groups gather) nearly every day supporting the campaign, and they have been great. Whenever I pass them, I always tell them I'm voting for Obama and I thank them for their work.

Today, I saw something different.

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I stopped watching television media several years ago, just as an attempt to control my blood pressure. I realized that the 24-hour news cycle had no choice but to bring people on to tell people what to think of the news rather than just report the news. So, much like my avoidance of all commercials, I avoid all television media. More to the point, I get 99% of my news from the internet.

The other 1% has come from NPR. I have grown a bit leery of it recently, but I have been trying to give it a chance.

Today, that ends. Let me tell you why.

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I know this has been discussed ad nauseum here and everywhere else. But, there is one aspect of the Reverend White clips that I have not seen anyone else note. If anyone here has, please forgive me.

To get this out of the way, I am a white woman in my early 30s. I am skeptical of organized religion because I have seen it do so much harm. I do consider myself a deist, though.

That being said, I am not really writing this because I want to chime in on whether or not Reverend Wright was wrong in saying what he said.

I just wanted to admit that I like listening and watching the clip of Reverend White's sermon.

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