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Mon May 25, 2015 at 08:51 AM PDT

The Nuremberg Defense

by thefarleftside

Like any war, there are those more interested in profit than victory.

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The Wall Street Journal recently weighed-in on income inequality and opined "Tish-tosh! If you took all the salaries of a million-employee company and shared them equality it would raise worker hourly pay by only a nickel. A NICKEL!"

Well, yeah, but if you had a thousand employees and a million-dollar payroll that means everyone gets $1000, CEOs included. But if that one guy got his 300X CEO payroll that leaves $770 per person for everyone else.

$770 vs. $230,000. Hmmm. Don't seem right.

The WSJ's conclusion is that the difference is really 5-1 but the Washington Post thinks otherwise, pegging the ratio at 354-1. I know which one I'm going with.

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Americans will drive far out of their way to save a nickel on gas but they'll happily pay $1 for one penny's worth of water.

STOP DOING THAT!

The only scam worse than bottled water is homeopathy. And that's water with the secret ingredient of nothing, which costs a zillion bucks, or thereabouts, per dose.

STOP DOING THAT, TOO!

The only reason people should be using bottled water is immediately following a natural disaster devastating enough for people to begin considering cannibalism.

We trash fully 80% of plastic water bottles and that shit's got to stop, so quit putting your legs in the air every time an Evian commercial comes on and use the water fountain, buy a reusable water bottle, or just drink your own urine until you get home.

Remember, I am watching you and I will judge you!

Booga-Booga!

Lefty

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Mon May 04, 2015 at 12:41 PM PDT

Who needs Jade Helm?

by thefarleftside

"Don't worry, folks. You're safe, because we're watching you. Allllways watching."

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Fri May 01, 2015 at 09:59 AM PDT

The knights who say "Ni-gro".

by thefarleftside

Took a while but I finally found my visual metaphor.

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It's important to understand where they're coming from.
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Wed Apr 22, 2015 at 09:06 AM PDT

Earth Day (Over)Fish Story

by thefarleftside

The Orange Roughy can live to be 150 years old. It becomes sexually mature at age 20.

The Acadian redfish can live as long as 50 years and begins breeding at about age ten.

The Atlantic halibut can live to be 50 but doesn't have offspring until it's at least ten years old.

The Blue Fin tuna. Slow growing and late-maturing.

As a result of overfishing, disruption of the reproduction cycle, and the heinous offense of indiscriminate trawling by industrial fishing fleets these species and many others, like the Atlantic cod, could go extinct in our lifetimes. Along with rising acidification of ocean waters, due to man-made climate change, the oceans may someday be home only to species like the jellyfish. No joke.

As for farmed fish, salmon cannot grow on a vegetable-based diet. They have to be fed other fish, so while you may think you're eating responsibly by ordering it for lunch you're just kicking the problem one species down the ladder.

And don't get me started on tilapia.

There are simply too many people on this planet, especially those in the West and double-especially in America, who rely on animal-based products for their protein. How many species have to go extinct just because hunger makes us short-sighted? It's entirely possible, due to climate-change and overpopulation, that there will come a day when we've eaten the last fish and the last cow and the only animal left on the menu will be us.

Happy Earth Day, everybody!

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Fri Apr 17, 2015 at 07:29 AM PDT

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

by thefarleftside

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Mon Apr 06, 2015 at 11:21 AM PDT

Talking through one's butt.

by thefarleftside

For historical perspective: Paleontologist Othniel Charles Marsh (1831-1899) once posited the intriguing notion that dinosaurs, specifically the stegosaurus, possessed a second brain located in their hips which served to help these massive creatures locomote more efficiently. The peer-reviewed truth proved otherwise but the idea still bounces around from time-to-time like silly-putty, especially in the brains of web-cartoonists.

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Maybe the Congress would feel better about the President's handling of Iran if Michelle Obama consulted her astrologist.
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If America's nukes protect the Western Hemisphere, why can't they also protect Israel as well?
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Fri Mar 06, 2015 at 07:37 AM PST

"Take us to your loser."

by thefarleftside

Do you know what Bibi Netanyahu's appearance before Congress this week proved? That there is a hard core of American conservatives who will embrace anything, even treason against their own country, as long as it also allows them to publicly wallow in their naked, racist hatred of President Obama.

John Boehner's unheard-of invite of the Israeli leader violated the Constitution as only the President has the power to "receive ambassadors and other public ministers from foreign governments." Yes, Boehner violated the Constitution but who would mete out suitable punishment?

Oh, yeah... the Congress. Sigh.

BTW, when I say "conservatives" I mean the rich, white men who own the GOP lock, stock and two smoking barrels and make them dance like puppets for their own amusement. And the last thing these oligarchs want is for a black president to succeed. The rest of us be damned.

You want jobs? Sorry, black man in the White House. You want better roads and safer bridges? Nope, too many negroes in the White House. You think we need banking regulations with teeth? Uh-uh. Darkie in the White House. You want affordable health care? Not a chance. Too much melanin in the White House. You think we need a Constitutional Amendment to take the money out of politics? Not as long as Sambo's in the White House. You want a government that pays its bills on time? See: Negro, White House. You want to stop climate change before it's too late? No way, as long as it's helping a brother out.

Yes, it's only 18 months until Hillary is elected but take everything in the above paragraph and replace "black man" with "woman". Oy.

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