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View Diary: Civility, Citizens and Siglines (241 comments)

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  •  Great diary! (4+ / 0-)
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    Wee Mama, RiaD, raincrow, corvaire

    Thoughtful and elegant.

    I read my sig line somewhere and thought it was funny. If something makes me really laugh out loud, I want to share it. Humor is the only vehicle I have found to help me navigate the turbulent waters of my own experience. If I am feeling overwhelmed, all I need to do is find something to laugh about, and that trial is won. I am sure everyone doesn't share this experience, but I share humor on the off chance that others like me are out there...and just might need a laugh.

    My sig used to be "if you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague" but I didn't really believe that so I dropped it. I occasionally use humor as a weapon too, and the sharpest weapon is often dripping with the poison of specificity.

    I have always been the clown and try to diffuse confrontation by using self-deprecating humor to make others feel at ease with me. That's just my "role" and always has been. It helps offset the intensity of some of my convictions. It comes from being a middle child born into a crazy working-class alcoholic home - always trying to tone down the tension.

    I find myself befriending more conservatives than liberals. I believe this is my role as well. I work very hard to help them see, that at our cores, we usually all want the same things for ourselves, our families, etc. I get "in" with them by being willing to allow them to poke fun at liberal stereotypes or to engage me in debate. Self-deprecating humor is the best tool I have found to get in with these people. And for me it's about results.

    By creating this environment, they get to interact, day after day with someone that isn't quite as "scary" as they otherwise believed. While they may never vote Dem, at least they don't think of Dems as "the enemy."

    This is not to say that there aren't other "conservatives" who aren't interested in civil interchange. There are a lot of angry teaparty types who are clearly terrified of this changing world, in which they are far less consequential than they were led to believe. I don't mind poking them with sticks. That are on fire.

    Again, loved this post. Keep writing. Please.

    Eagles may soar, but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

    by SnyperKitty on Wed Aug 31, 2011 at 10:06:36 AM PDT

    •  Brilliant! (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      corvaire, raincrow, SnyperKitty


    •  Sometimes I wish I were more like you (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Wee Mama, SnyperKitty, RiaD

      What a refreshing and spirited attitude you have!

      I came from conservatives, have had many conservative friends and acquaintances, and the majority of my coworkers are conservative. As I advance through middle age, I'm becoming far more compassionate, finding it easier and easier to do what the Dalai Lama suggested: find something about the other person that delights you and take delight in that.

      But I have grown almost completely intolerant of conservative ideology. IMNSHO it looks, walks, and quacks like a clinical personality disorder -- a relationship disorder, based on distorted perceptions of human worth and rules of human interchange, that is self-perpetuating and can result in enormous pain and damage to self and other.

      I've waged a multi-decade battle to grow beyond a personality disorder. I know others doing the same. I understand there are many people who cannot engage in this endeavor with as much intent and tenacity as I have, and some who can't or won't even try. But that doesn't mean I must accommodate myself to their distorted notions of human worth and relationship. I maintain civility with them by sticking to the weather and grandchildren.


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