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View Diary: I'll just be over here hitting this tree (277 comments)

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  •  your total lack of understanding (1+ / 0-)
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    of the issue is compressed into this paragraph:

    One of the diaries on quitting from yesterday was a perfect example.  She discussed having been picked on by her brother and his getting away with it.  One day he was doing something she didn't like.  She asked him to stop, he refused.  Rather than talk to her parents or simply leave the area, she threw her fork at his foot, wedging the tines into it.  She considered herself the victim that she got in trouble for that rather than him.  Literally.  He irritated her, perhaps justifiably, and she then thought she was justified in sticking a fork in his foot and that it was terribly unfair that she got punished for doing that.

    substitute husband for brother and abused for picked on and rethink your analysis.

    Because yes, they are analogous as are the 1992 riots in LA. Trying to reduce this to a childish spat is precisely the type of diminution that blacks deal with on a daily basis.

    •  I'm not the one who wrote that diary, so please (7+ / 0-)

      don't accuse me of having a complete lack of understanding the issue as a result of that diary.  And I think perhaps you need to re read my post in its entirety.  

      My point was - the girl was NOT being abused - she WAS being picked on.  And therefore her gross over reaction of physically pushing a fork in her brother's foot was not acceptable.  And she did not become a victim when she became physically abusive.  So no, I'm not the one that needs to rethink my analogy.

      You can't replace facts with nonfacts and then claim the nonfacts justify your behavior.  

      It appears that in your opinion, if someone is feeling they're being marginalized or picked on or someone is acting racist, sexist, ageist, whatever towards them, ANY behavior is justified?  I certainly hope not and it's once again just emotional over reaction.

      "If you trust you are not critical; if you are critical you do not trust" by our own Dauphin

      by gustynpip on Mon Sep 12, 2011 at 09:35:43 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  picked on == bullying (0+ / 0-)

        Or do you also think that bullying is a trivial thing?

        •  Do you think the appropriate response to being (6+ / 0-)

          bullied is to become physically violent?  I'd say that question is much more appropriate that to suggest I think bullying is trivial because I don't think someone who stabs someone in the foot with a fork is a victim of bullying.

          "If you trust you are not critical; if you are critical you do not trust" by our own Dauphin

          by gustynpip on Mon Sep 12, 2011 at 11:49:30 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I very much like your (3+ / 0-)
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            RiaD, gustynpip, sockpuppet

            analogy in the girl's story. Which highlights a misapplied resentment from years ago that she still couldn't recognize stabbing her brother as inappropriate. I hope she doesn't have kids. There were five in my family. Alliances came and went, bullying was endemic based on birth order, and my parents were of the strict "both sides time-out" school of parenting. Which, once I had two kids in diapers at the same time who grew up fighting for their entire lives, was absolutely the best approach.

            But we siblings never actually stabbed or harmed one another. Neither did my kids. THAT would have resulted in some more serious issues, to be dealt with at length.

            All that said, in my young life's experience of 'outsider' bullies, there were times when punching back was the most successful tactic. Once people get to a certain age, however, both society and the law view that tactic as unacceptable. That's when you start paying attention to masters of the 'subtle insult' delivered with such aplomb that golf claps often ensue...

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