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View Diary: "Are you mixed?" (25 comments)

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  •  Yes, yes I have (11+ / 0-)

    First of all, I voted Yes on your poll, the cashier was out of line.

    I'm not mixed and I don't look it (although my children will be), so I've never been asked that particular question. I have, however, been around long enough to know some people have a huge blind spot when it comes to insensitive comments and questions. I'm sure most people have something about what makes them who they are - their appearance, their personalities, or even their names - that inspire others to make what they believe are terrifically witty comments when in reality it's something the person has been hearing all hir life and didn't find funny the first time, never mind the nine millionth. How people fail to pick up on that is beyond me, but they always do.

    Mine, in any case, is my lack of a gift of gab. I am not a talkative person, and that makes a lot of people very, very uncomfortable for reasons I've never understood. I've been subjected to a wide variety of unintentionally nasty comments, especially from my teachers when I was a kid, but one incident stands head and shoulders above all others. On my very first job out of college, everyone in the office had to go to a sensitivity training retreat. One morning at the retreat, a woman lectured us on the importance of respecting one another and not making inappropriate comments about our colleagues. This included a discussion that I participated in. Not much, I will admit, but I did participate.

    On our first coffee break, I came back into the room while it was mostly empty. And the woman who had just gotten done teaching us the importance of avoiding rude personal comments asked me "Why are you so quiet, David?"

    Rarely have I been so frustrated in my life. But I was not surprised.

    Certaines personnes disent qu'il y a une femme à blâmer, Mais je sais que c'est ma faute sacrément.

    by RamblinDave on Tue Nov 15, 2011 at 02:39:47 AM PST

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