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View Diary: Anti-Obama Georgia Business Owner Tied to Terror Group (208 comments)

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  •  How to minimize the toxic effect (2+ / 0-)
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    aitchdee, SadieSue

    Yes I read your comment and I understand.  People deal with a situation like that according to their own fortitude and constitution.  Some can engage with the offensive person and never let on that it's a problem until their friendship is solid enough to survive a candid discussion.  Other people limit or eliminate any engagement at all because it's a matter of conscience.  The important thing is for you to not allow yourself to suffer.  If you have to withdraw, do it.  Make excuses. If the other person presses, you can talk about your discomfort.  I've had to engage with people like that but they know from my personality that I'm not vulnerable.  I sometimes have the same tendancy you mention to pay back their tyranny in kind.  You have to understand what's driving them.  Emotion, not the intellect.  Fear and hatred, hand in hand. Rationale thought and logic can't exist where people are emotionally incompetent.  You can never reason with them.  They trust the way they feel more than what people think.  Sometimes if you can make them feel good, you get the upper hand.  Enough for now.

    "Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves." - Abraham Lincoln

    by leftreborn on Sun Nov 27, 2011 at 01:11:24 AM PST

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    •  I will make exuses (3+ / 0-)
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      leftreborn, SadieSue, Bluefin

      until (if/when) it becomes truly ridiculous and she calls me out--then I guess I'll fess-up (though perhaps from a distance; I'm increasingly prepared to move.)

      Per bluefin I will also probably be buying some (additional) security items for my home. And I'm going to try to arrange for my dog to be with me at all times or with another trusted human whenever I cannot be there. It's going to take some major wrangling but, for the time being, I think it's definitely necessary.

      Your diagnosis--all emotion, all the time--is exactly right. And yes, I'm a different sort--I'm sensitive, always trying to connect, to stay open, be slow to judge. I've been able to make some precious friends that way--friendships of depth with people who aren't all shallow emotion and knee-jerk reaction--but it does make me vulnerable, you're right. Sometimes (like now!) I half wonder if it's worth it.

      I think for me it is worth it, but now that I know how badly I can be frightened (and precisely where: first and foremost, fear for my dog who just means everything to me; and second, fear for my own continued happy existence and bodily integrity, lol) I realize I need to be more cautious in the future. I mean, I need to integrate a good dose of interpersonal caution into my life in the first place, because I haven't consciously bothered with it very much hitherto.

      I furthermore acknowledge that my naivete is pretty much inexcusable. I won't make the same mistake again.

      Thanks for your thoughtful reply. :)

      God bless our tinfoil hearts

      by aitchdee on Sun Nov 27, 2011 at 05:11:33 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

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