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View Diary: My 98yo mom kicks my butt (81 comments)

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  •  She knew you were there for her, 100% she (3+ / 0-)
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    cany, edrie, Ebby

    knew that. That is what is important.

    You are/were both lucky to have had that opportunity, to be relating in a clear way till the end. Situations like mine or cany's with our moms, the mind goes first. One is tending to an empty shell at the last.

    My father died clear-headed. It was "good", as much as these things can be.  Because of that, I know that if she was "sharp as a tack" -- she knew of your love, and that you'd have been there if you could.

    This health care system is a moral atrocity. Dr. Ralphdog

    by AllisonInSeattle on Sun Dec 18, 2011 at 02:12:57 AM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  i spoke with her the day she died... (0+ / 0-)

      the last thing she said very clearly was "i love you!" - she was having trouble talking but not that time.

      we "talked" again after she was gone - as we had done while she still lived.  when one of us called, the other answered the phone saying 'hello, mom" or "hello tudie (my nickname)"... we always were connected - the whole family was.

      thanks for your kind words - i do appreciate them.

      now, as for the one who is that "empty shell" - somewhere dee within, they are still there.  years ago, the last time i spoke to my mentor, she had lapsed into dementia.  she remembered me as the student she had and when we talked in past tense, she remembered that girl.  

      however, as i was leaving, i had a young friend with me visiting her - i thanked her for a beautiful brown velvet skirt she gave me and said i still had it... she looked at me very intently and then said, clearly to me, SHE is the size YOU were when i gave it to you so YOU give it to her now!"  at that last moment as we were leaving, she saw me clearly and remembered me!  it was such a gift!

      know that she is there - just the line is down to communicate on the surface!  she knows - on a deeper level, she knows!

      Is GlowNZ back yet?

      by edrie on Sun Dec 18, 2011 at 08:46:07 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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