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View Diary: the (snow)faces change but the (appropriated) song remains the same, and the crowd goes wild. (36 comments)

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  •  I think what we have here... (11+ / 0-)

    Is a pretty heavy duty case of allowing the perfect to be the enemy of the good. As a woman and a grand/parent I've always found that whereas it might be momentarily more satisfying to get all righteously ragey because someone isn't doing something exactly to our specific requirements it's usually more productive in the long run to get the fundamentals set then work on the refinement process. Theory first, then get empirical. Broad strokes, add shading later. Get the fundamentals down and let the fine tuning come naturally.

    I have to count it as a net gain to pretty much everyone whenever a privileged person steps outside their comfort zone to walk that mile in another person's shoes, and I think it's just gracious and kind to acknowledge the effort and gently encourage further processing along the same lines. Active empathy is an acquired skill, and just as we don't expect instant proficiency in any other skill we should be just as tolerant of those who aren't as far along the path as we might prefer.

    Basically, fuck the anger. It's non-productive and can be in itself a form of privilege--that whole "I'm so much more abused than you, you will never begin to COMPREHEND MY PAIN YOU ASSHOLE." Man, way to shut down the dialogue there, y'know? I've had a bellyful of abuse in my life but I'll be damned if I'm going to lay down and let it kill me by turning me into a rageaholic hateful person. Nope, I'd rather just talk to people and give them a different viewpoint that's presented with humor and non-strident diffidence that invites others to share my point of view without being an a-hole about it.

    Anything that reduces the gulf between people is a good thing--it's what we're all after, right? Equality, fairness, justice? What's the point of being pissy about the wrapping when the item inside is just what we want? I think I'm a big enough person to let my anger go in order to make the world a little bit calmer.

    "Nothing's wrong, son, look at the news!" -- Firesign Theater

    by SmartAleq on Sun Dec 25, 2011 at 08:55:10 AM PST

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