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View Diary: On Slut-shaming and Gay Men (115 comments)

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  •  Gay men, like women, who have numerous (11+ / 0-)

    sex partners, are sluts. Straight men whoa re popular with women are "players."  One of my friends overheard her daughter and pals talking about one of their acquaintances who had a lot of one-night stands and tended to have several guys she was sleeping with at the same time. They called her  a "slut". They then went on to discuss a guy they knew whose pattern was pretty  much the same, and just laughed about it without invoking an insulting name.

    My friend looked at the college age women and siad, "Why isn't he a slut too? He has just as many partners."

    "But he's a player."

    No, if she's a slut, he's a man slut."

    And they thought about it and agreed with her. At which point she said, "Maybe neither are sluts but just like sex and variety. What's wrong with that? So long, of course, as they're having safe, responsible sex using condoms and birth control."

    And left them confused as hell.

    George Clooney can screw as many women as he likes, and men admire him for it. But if Neil Patrick Harris did the same thing, he;'d be a slut.  One reason I liked +Gray's Anatomy in its earlier years was that the female doctors, quite correctly, called Mark the plastic surgeon a "man whore." FIrst time I
    d ever heard a  promiscuous man get called the equoivalent of a slut.

    DOuble standards SUCK, whatever your sex or sexual orientation.

    The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

    by irishwitch on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 12:14:03 PM PST

    •  In my limited experience among straight people (1+ / 0-)
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      (I moved to East Tennessee shortly after undergrad school, and have lived here for >30 years), straight men and straight women who've had lots of sex partners are viewed with more reservation than admiration, especially as they age. It's considered far more acceptable for college-age people of both sexes than for people 30 and older; and the older the sexually active person, the greater the disapproval and presumption of emotional pathology. But I can safely bet the mortgage that if their "sex partner count" were known by a prospective employer, women would be penalized heavily and perhaps exclusively compared to men.

      I found it wasn't uncommon to hear the term 'slut' or 'whore' applied to a man (often by the man himself) among white-collar barflies. In blue-collar bars, until recently, those pejoratives were reserved for women, unless a sexually active man labeled himself (at which point, all his buddies would agree, with loud embarrassment).  

      •  I'm 62. My friend range from my age to late (1+ / 0-)
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        twenties, and I've never heard a man referred to as a slut. It's the George Clooney thing--he could sleep  with every NFL and NBA cheerleader and he'd be regarded by most men with admiration. A woman who did the equivalent is promiscuous.  When men call themselves sluts, it's with a certain amount of pride because it means they CAN get laid.

        My husband's P3 squadron had a lot of young women (P3s are land-based aircraft and before women could go to sea, this is where they often ended up for "sea duty" ebcause the squadrons deploy). You'd see the married guys making dates with the single girls even before they elft. My hsuband who takes his vows seriously didn't--there were rumors that he was gay because he wasn't sleeping around. Didn't hurt that he had a lot of the young women hanging out with him--mainly because I'd send monthly care packages in which I used second-hand PB romances  to pad the cookies I was mailing; id id this because the Exchange carried male-oriented reading material only. ANd the cookies helped too.

        Think of how Madonna is viewed as opposed to Clooney. It's the same thign with having younger sex partners--men can marry women 1/3 their age and it's okay, but the tabloids desperately longed to break up Demi Moore and Ashton Cooper. DOuble standards.

        The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

        by irishwitch on Sun Feb 12, 2012 at 09:59:13 AM PST

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