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View Diary: On Slut-shaming and Gay Men (115 comments)

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  •  Crossdressing isn't the same (0+ / 0-)

    as effeminacy.

    There are men who have fetishes involving cross dressing but are very outwardly masculine when they aren't cross dressing. I am more effeminate but I don't cross dress. I don't do drag, either.

    I know a lot of gay men are very uncomfortable with this, but the reality is that a disproportionate number of us don't conform to gender constructs. That doesn't mean that all gay men are femme. There are plenty of masculine men who are gay out there. There's a broad diversity of gender expression among gay men.  

    •  splitting hairs (0+ / 0-)

      yes, straight crossdressers often overcompensate by becoming hypermasculine in their daily lives.  Most are able to hide their crossdresser tendencies, although there are exceptions.  But that doesn't mean that society's hatred of sissies doesn't affect them.  I think we would have a lot less Republicans, for example, if sissies were not punished so severely by prejudice.  And alcoholics, too.

      Knowing that someone would beat the tar out of you for something so core to yourself as your sexuality, and it's more than just sexuality for most crossdressers, causes psychological damage.  The fact that most can hide it doesn't mean the hiding has no cost.

      You are debating from a gay perspective; I am debating from a queer perspective.

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