Skip to main content

View Diary: Forced Births in the Bad Old Days (198 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  repro choice vs devaluing human beings (0+ / 0-)

    Unless that lady is reading this article and all the comments, obviously I can't address this to her, so I will instead address it to anyone who might have been in a similar situation.

    1.  Reproductive choice is about a woman's right to control her own body and health care AND NOTHING ELSE.

    It's not about pretending rape or incest didn't happen.  It's not about kowtowing to the patriarchy that says you are only worth something if you are a man with a wife at home and never have to raise any kids yourself.  It is about BODILY AUTONOMY.

    Period period period period PERIOD.  No pun intended.

    2.  When we say we have to keep abortion legal because "what about rape and incest," we're saying children conceived by rape and incest are worth less than children of other types of unions.  There are living, breathing people walking around right now, some of whom are undoubtedly reading my comment right now, who came from rape or incest.  I just read a piece today by an adoptee who is the former, and I have reason to believe my ex-husband and the father of my eldest child is the latter.

    Please stop talking about these people as if they are human garbage.  They are not what-ifs.  They ACTUALLY EXIST, and they deserve respect too.  And this matter is SEPARATE from whether abortion ought to be legal or how legal it ought to be.

    2a.  I don't care how much what I just said sounds like Rick Santorum.  I can agree with someone I despise without wanting to vote for him.  Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

    3.  Speaking of my ex-husband.  Your friend was dead wrong to not let her son (yes, he is her son) contact her, and to not want him to know the truth.  It doesn't matter how bad the truth is, people deserve to know where they come from.  The adoptee blogger I mentioned who came from a rape knows full well what her origins are and, as far as I can tell, has grown up to be a well-adjusted, tolerant, even liberal young lady.  There are people who learn things about themselves like this young lady did and who cope fine, and there are those who break a nail and come unhinged.  This woman should have let her son decide for himself what to do with the information about his origins.  He's a full-grown adult.

    My ex-mother-in-law did not come out and explicitly spell out that my ex was the "product" of incest.  But the way she talked about it and told me in no uncertain terms that she'd never reveal to anyone who his actual father was, tells me that was likely the case.  So my ex, who was grandparent-adopted later, has the name of a total stranger on his original birth certificate as his so-called "father," and to this day does not understand why his "father" was so cold to him.  (I think the "father" probably suspected he wasn't.  Sometimes you just know.)

    On top of that, my son now has no idea what his ancestry is and where he comes from.  As bad as the truth is, it's better than not knowing.  I have an uncle who almost married a long-lost-to-adoption half-sister because his mother couldn't be bothered telling the truth.  This is completely unacceptable.  If nothing else you can't avoid further acts of incest if you don't even know your girlfriend or boyfriend is really a sibling or close cousin because no one told you the truth about whom you were related to.

    So if any of you out there have surrendered children to adoption and think you'll just act like nothing at all happened, I'm here asking you to please reconsider.

    Also, I think it's long past time we started having a serious national conversation about why we find it easier to tell girls and women with "crisis pregnancies" to abort or surrender than to help them parent successfully.  It was a "liberal" President who gutted AFDC into TANF and I see liberals routinely betray poor mothers, including the liberals who adopt children who are trafficked from poor countries (and you have no proof that they weren't, so let's assume they were).

    Come on now.  We're supposed to be the liberals and progressives.  We are better than this.

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

  • Recommended (138)
  • Community (67)
  • Elections (26)
  • Environment (26)
  • Culture (24)
  • Science (23)
  • Media (23)
  • Law (22)
  • Civil Rights (22)
  • Trans-Pacific Partnership (21)
  • Josh Duggar (20)
  • Economy (19)
  • Labor (19)
  • Memorial Day (18)
  • Rescued (17)
  • Climate Change (17)
  • Ireland (17)
  • Marriage Equality (17)
  • Republicans (16)
  • Bernie Sanders (16)
  • Click here for the mobile view of the site