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View Diary: Tree Climbers: Just the Tip of the Iceberg (27 comments)

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  •  I am not unscathed in all this. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jdmorg, Roxine

    I was raised by a narcissistic, probable borderline personality disorder mother who emotionally abused myself and my 5 sisters until the day she died a month ago at the age of 94.  I know that I was raised to choose this man I married because he is what I grew up with...no emotion, no connection, no right to be happy, no  right to uniqueness or autonomy.  

    It was only about a year and a half ago that I broke through the veil of deceit and veneer and actually discovered the truth about our mother.  She was so skillful in her public personality that nobody, not even her own children (or my father) realized the subtle degradation that she was perpetrating upon us.  Someone characterized her as a gorgon, who eats her young to keep them close, and that is a pretty accurate way of describing what she did to us.  But, through observation and tons of reading and research, I shared the info with my sisters, and we tore the wall down that our mother had built between each of us and we saved each other before she died. So that when she finally passed, we all had full knowledge of what she had done to us and how it had shaped us and we are getting whole with each others help.

    But, I also am grateful to my 2 beautiful sons.  I know exactly what you mean.  I learned more from them then they could ever learn from me, and they have saved me many times and continue to do so even now.  Unfortunately, they have suffered from the lack of emotional connection to their father and manifest it in their lives as well.   The older one (26) has just decided to be alone to avoid the pain of a relationship, and the younger one (22)is replicating me by having chosen one of the most sad girls in the world who has more issues even than his own father.  "The sins of the father (and mother)".   We may be divorced yet...he seems to be leaning in that direction.  

    I will survive.  I made it out of a bad "starter marriage" after 7 years and no kids.  Now my kids are on their own and I can manage once again if I have to.  It still is a daunting prospect.  Talking about it with you helps to just "vent".  Thank you.

    •  The ripple effects of abuse, whether sexual, (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      freeport beach PA, Roxine

      emotional, physical know no ends.  Truly, it can be like the ocean waves that continue slapping us in the face.

      Republicans only care about themselves, their money, & their power.

      by jdmorg on Sat Feb 25, 2012 at 07:41:32 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

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