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View Diary: Do conservatives really think Obama is Muslim, or are they just dicks? (264 comments)

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  •  I don't think you do need to apologize, imho. (1+ / 0-)
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    shaharazade

    You are allowed to have feelings and express them, even to him, especially if he was lecturing you on your supposed evil. That's what needs apologizing for--how rude of him to assault his mother like that. I thought conservatives were all about respecting one's parents/God/whatever. (Only slight snark there.) If you do send him a letter, I'd argue for you not to apologize, but to explain your defensiveness as a reaction to his boorish behavior. (I apologize for my assumptions, also, but I'm in a rush to get this out before I flee the office.)
    That being said, if he has always been conservative, then you are going to have to reconcile your love for him and your feelings toward his alignment, whatever that might mean for your relationship with him. At best you can get him to agree not to ever speak to you about these kinds of things. Ever. (Unless he shows a future willingness to not be as closed minded as he seems to be.) If that restricts you all to small talk in his presence, you have to accept that, as I have with my family. Pointing out his folly or his wrong thinking won't work, apparently, if he is as far gone as you say here, and again, I am so sorry you are having this rift develop.
    You do not have to tolerate his (and especially his spouse's) intolerance, especially in your own home; you and your values are just as--or, as most on DKos would agree, more--valid as his/theirs are, and are certainly more sympathetic and open.
    All of which, is, of course, imho.
    Good luck!

    •  thanks again (0+ / 0-)

      actually he was liberal and wild as a young' un not conservative at all but extreme in his world view. My dad used to say that the extreme right and left meet somewhere beyond the curve.  Your right no apology needed. Thanks it really helps to have a conversation with someone who has had to deal with conservative relatives. Hard these days to reconcile our relations in our polarized culture wars. They seem so knee jerk and so useless. Good luck to you also. You have helped me a lot here.  

      •  I appreciate that; sometimes it's hard to tell (0+ / 0-)

        when "advice" might not be warranted or wanted! Your dad pointed to something I have long believed--that space where they meet is the land, imho, of libertarians. They agree with the left in re: governmental intrusion into personal lives, warmaking, and a handful of other topics, but of course they leave us far behind when they advocate for stripping all funding for social services of any kind as well--that's where they agree with the right. So for both sides, libertarians are "half right/half crazy as loons."
        If your son has become a wild-eyed libertarian/anarchist, there is still hope for him, I'd say. Maybe if (which sounds really bad as something to "hope for", I know) he loses his job and finds out that there's no real safety net, or if his kids need some sort of help at school that he can't afford on his own, he might begin to see the light. Perhaps for now the benefits of liberalism are an abstract; as we all know, conservatives and libertarians all change their tune quite quickly when something hits home.

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