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View Diary: Stop the War on Mothers (85 comments)

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  •  How about recognizing that motherhood is work (11+ / 0-)

    I have had a career. Now I have a family. I stay at home  for now.

    If I raise my kids right, then I don't get a gold watch, I get the stink eye for staying at home and "doing nothing".

    If I screw up and my kids become the new and improved Hannibal Lector, everyone will want to know where the hell I was that whole time, my children were morphing into monsters and *IF I had any part in their monster-training.

    So lets recap:

    If I do it right---YAWN

    IF my kids grow up to have serious problems--It's my fault and my entire life and choices will be held up to a microscope just before I am burned at the stake.

    WTH is wrong with this picture?!

    •  that the fathers are never in the picture, that's (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      peregrine kate

      what is wrong. Because if you stood at home (most probably why your husband or yourself have enough financial security to afford to not work for a cash income), and your kids turn out with "problems" it's your (the mother's)  fault, nobody asks, if it's the fathers fault.  

      Anyhow it's always the parents who are at fault, when something with your kids gets wrong, which means basically they turn up doing unexpected things...

    •  Hold on there (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      If you do it right you'll have some fine adults who owe their lives to you and love you and will be there for you...a much better "dividend" than a gold watch or a 401K.  

      "All governments lie, but disaster lies in wait for countries whose officials smoke the same hashish they give out." --I.F. Stone

      by Alice in Florida on Sat Apr 14, 2012 at 10:27:29 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Not To the right wing, unless you're rich (0+ / 0-)

        Or your kid winds up rich, famous, or both. And white.

        Poor? Your kids poor? You should have been working, and your kids should have better jobs.

      •  You're totally right, and yet, (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        I am sick and tired of hearing people say that as a way of fending off the idea that mothering is work and deserves some compensation and/or security. It's a deflection for most people (not you, Alice in Florida!), a way of not compensating or respecting mothers in any way.

        No one says this to fathers.

        Yes, the grown children and their love are a much greater dividend than a gold watch or 401K. What of it? How does that pay the bills? How does that provide economically marginalized, working-for-free mothers with the health coverage or retirement benefits they have earned 10x over and richly deserve?

        I wouldn't trade my boys for anything in the world. That has nothing to do with my inability to pay bills by myself, the way most adults do, and my economic marginalization and vulnerability, that result from being with my kids at this point in my career. My husband also has the kids who love him and all that-- but he also has the gold watch coming, the 401K, the salary, etc. He's not financially sidelined, made dependent, and his financial future jeopardized by parenting. I am. That matters.

        I am not a crockpot.

        by LaraJones on Sat Apr 14, 2012 at 10:37:02 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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