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View Diary: I'm so angry, I'm crying; I'm so sad, I want to scream. (185 comments)

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  •  I remember that diary... (42+ / 0-)

    I remember it because it did a very good job of crystallizing a lot of the anger I had about Paterno.  "All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."  Therefore, men who do nothing in the face of evil Are Not Good.

    It is interesting how the language of abuse is so similar between oppressed groups.  The emotions of the response to the Trayvon Martin shooting (eloquently summed up by President Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon."), the terror and defiance of the Tree Climbers diaries, the It Gets Better videos from LGBT teens - they all echo the same feelings.  "We're beaten down, but we're stronger, and we will come through."  It is one fight.

    •  You are so right on... (33+ / 0-)

      right in the vein of what we are thinking about doing with our little group :)

      I had started to read your diary earlier, got a bit sidetracked and then came back. I was going to rec it anyways and then when I saw your update I wanted to rec it 3 more times! Understanding our commonalities as victims of oppression- whether that oppression is through sexual abuse, misogyny, homophobia, racism or any other form of social control-is crucial. It is through making those connections and understanding our commonalities instead of focusing on our differences that we can find a way to work together to end the oppression of all people. There is power in numbers, and we definitely have those on our side ;-)

      Brilliant and powerful diary. Standing O from me.

      The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places ~Ernest Hemingway
      Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle ~ Anonymous

      by SwedishJewfish on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 12:18:06 AM PDT

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    •  Actually, because of the peculiar nature of abuse, (14+ / 0-)

      whose object is to injure and deprive, rather than to physically destroy, "good men" doing "nothing" does not account for evil.  That saying is just another example of shoving agency (or non-agency) off on someone other than the perpetrator.
      The problem with abuse is that the victim, in risking additional injury by defending himself, becomes the perpetrator's tool.  Which is why, if abuse is to be stopped, there has to be an outside intervention. So, if authority stands silent in the face of abuse, it's not enabling, it becomes complicit.

      EuroAmerican culture has been abusive from the beginning.  How else could owning other people (including children) and the subjugation of women, native Americans and imported workers be defined as legal?
      The "rule of law" is a clever invention in that it takes flesh and blood tyrants out of the loop.  As a result, we have the governor of Texas authorizing the killing of over two hundred people and, just like Pontius Pilate, washing his hands.  Indeed, it's worse.  The culture of obedience lets the governor of Texas pretend that the killing of men is a virtue.

      People to Wall Street: "LET OUR MONEY GO"

      by hannah on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 02:22:45 AM PDT

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      •  I dunno. Abusive men kill their wives all the (12+ / 0-)

        time. I'm not sure that abuse and the desire to physically destroy are mutually exclusive.

        •  Some abusive persons kill their victims. (5+ / 0-)

          Most do not.  Partly that's because abusers are cowards.  When they kill, it's usually because control has failed and the victim is about to walk out.

          People to Wall Street: "LET OUR MONEY GO"

          by hannah on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 05:29:49 AM PDT

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          •  I think it was the part about the witness seeing (7+ / 0-)

            Paterno raping a boy in the showers.

            His [the witness'] reaction shocked me.

            He left and reported it to authorities.

            Perhaps it is in my nature to be reckless, but I have intervened in less shocking situations.

            When I imagine this, I cannot even picture myself being silent.

            That child deserved better.

            A minor cannot consent to such an act. So there is no ambiguity as to what should have happened there.

            The "Good Man" chose to do nothing in that moment. Letting that child know that no one would protect him from Paterno. The witness covered his ass later by reporting it to an ineffective bureaucracy, but nothing else happened.

            When you are the target of bullying, or assault, and people walk on by, seemingly disinterested in your plight, they are choosing to do nothing.

            These people might be pillars of the community, help old ladies across the street, pay their taxes and check their smoke alarms. They might give to charity and never drink and drive--but in that moment, they choose not to act.

            Just the sound of their voice could mean the difference, maybe stop the commission of a crime or break a cycle of abuse. But instead they turn away and keep silent, given permission to the perp to carry on.

            That is why evil can and does triumph when good people remain silent.

            Silence means compliance.

            •  It wasn't Paterno in the shower (7+ / 0-)

              But Paterno knew about the abuse and didn't go to police.  Hence Kalil's comment about:

              "All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

              "To me, women and avocados are evidence that there might be intelligent design in the universe". Jlukes on DK

              by TX Freethinker on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 07:45:50 AM PDT

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              •  I apologize if I got the name wrong (4+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                2thanks, TX Freethinker, sb, slowbutsure

                A person who works at the college saw the person in question raping a child in the showers.

                •  It was Jerry Sandusky and a grad student who (2+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  slowbutsure, ladybug53

                  then became a coach, Mike McQueary , was the witness to the sexual assault of a chld described as around 10 years old by Jerry Sandusky. McQueary told Paterno who reported it to the Athletic Director and the Director of the Campus Police Services.  

                  I am too close to that whole situation as my dad worked for these people and I went to high school with the AD and I have several friends who played for Paterno and I played college sports for Penn State. So I am very, very reluctant to talk about at all.

                  Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

                  by wishingwell on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 03:20:04 PM PDT

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            •  Well actually he didn't report it to authorities.. (5+ / 0-)

              he called his father. And then Paterno. I can't remember the exact order of events TBH, but in any case it was never reported to the police.

              To an extent, I guess I can understand someone not jumping in and intervening- even though I'm positive that's what I've done, I know my perspective is different because I was exposed to abuse and violence from a young age, so it's not really shocking to me. For most people it is, and it's hard to say what you will do in that situation. So I would be lenient if he was so shocked by what he saw that it took him a few moments to have it sink in and figure out what he would do...but at the very least, he should have called the police. But he didn't. Nobody did.

              The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places ~Ernest Hemingway
              Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle ~ Anonymous

              by SwedishJewfish on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 08:39:53 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  I don't agree (9+ / 0-)

                There was a rape being committed on a child.

                That calls for intervention. Even if it's pulling the fire alarm in the gym or creating some other kind of disruption to the act.

                If it had been a gang of armed assailants, I would be more forgiving about not immediately doing something to disrupt the act.

                But a naked, unarmed man in a shower?

                •  I agree with you (4+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  2thanks, TX Freethinker, sb, mrkvica

                  I used a poor choice of words, that did not come across the way I intended it to at all.

                  When I say "a few moments" I mean just that- a few moments to come to terms with what he was seeing, and then act. When you are confronted by something that is so shocking, the automatic response is to kind of dissociate and disbelieve what you are seeing-it's a defense mechanism. I know this because I've witnessed it myself (as a child, granted) and my immediate reaction was "that isn't really happening, I'm just imagining it"

                  So I would have been lenient if it took him a few moments to comprehend what he was seeing before he acted. But there is no excuse for ducking out and running while a child is being brutalized. None. His response to was beyond cowardly-it was callous indifference to the suffering of a child.

                  The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places ~Ernest Hemingway
                  Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle ~ Anonymous

                  by SwedishJewfish on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 10:43:37 AM PDT

                  [ Parent ]

              •  Please disregard above comment (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                sb

                it was sloppily worded due to lack of sleep...there is no excuse for failing to intervene if a child is getting raped, and I did not mean to suggest that at all.

                The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places ~Ernest Hemingway
                Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle ~ Anonymous

                by SwedishJewfish on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 12:50:30 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

          •  True...when abusers kill (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            2thanks, sb

            it is usually in the heat of passion, and not premeditated.

            With the exception of if an abuser finds out his victim (in the case of domestic violence) is leaving him-then it can be a premeditated act. "If I can't have you, no one else will"

            Or, in the case of a child victim- if they are afraid of that child going to the authorities.

            But generally speaking, abusers like to keep their victims alive enough to satisfy their needs, but broken down enough to remain under their control at all times. They view their victims as their possessions.

            This is in the case of chronic, prolonged victimization though-when the abuser knows and has a relationship of sorts with his victims. It's different when you are talking about a stranger.

            The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places ~Ernest Hemingway
            Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle ~ Anonymous

            by SwedishJewfish on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 08:24:43 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

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