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View Diary: I'm so angry, I'm crying; I'm so sad, I want to scream. (185 comments)

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  •  Abuse has effects very early on, and (7+ / 0-)

    siblings may react to an abusive home differently. I think evil behavior comes from nurture rather than nature with only with rare exceptions. Abusive behavior probably comes from a combination of nature and nurture- hence siblings who react differently- but I just don't believe many people are born evil. In my 38 years, I haven't seen it happen, the mean apple falling far from a nice tree.

    Also, what you're not including in the mix is that siblings, unless they are twins, are in different developmental stages. It would be unlikely for any siblings to behave the same as children, if only because they're at different ages.

    •  That's a comforting thought, (5+ / 0-)

      in that it gives us the notion that we are capable of fixing things, even though we may not be.  The idea that nuture is the answer went out decades ago as our understanding of genetics has improved, as well as our understanding of genetics X environment interactions has improved.

      I have seen children start out mean when they are very young and grow up to be mean, with no evidence of abuse in the family and siblings thriving.  It is devastating for parents of such a child to be told they must be responsible.  They must have been abusive or this wouldn't have happened.

      At the time our children were born medical wisdom said autism was caused by abuse, especially maternal abuse.  Put a friend of ours in the hospital, she was so distraught.  That was where the abuse came in--how she was treated, not how she treated her child.

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