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View Diary: I'm so angry, I'm crying; I'm so sad, I want to scream. (185 comments)

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  •  they were wrecked in babyhood! (1+ / 0-)
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    any baby that does not feel totally safe and secure and loved or as near to that will be damaged. Bad Infant care theories are bad enough but add uncaring or abusive parents will create monsters or ruined kids pretty quickly. but there is still a window to save most but that is mostly just luck. If there is no love and attention to them by age 7 and definitely by puberty then they are set to be that way for life.

    The more horribly they act early on the more likely they had an extremely bad start and they way they behave is because underneath all the shit they are strong and they way they are makes sense to them just as basic SURVIVAL... their emergency back-up programming kicks in and that is bad for those around them.

    Yes some kids are born naturally violent or psychopathic tendencies.. probably not genetic though there must be some inborn personality traits that help... but those are components of behavior that still need more things like a developmental glitch or they have a selective virus that damages a key area of their brain. repeated impacts to the center of the forehead in early life (even from just falling face down on hard floors repeatedly when learning to walk) can change the ability to judge situations and acts. And again good parenting, even the very best will have a hard time with kids unlucky to be afflicted with these things. Clueless or indifferent parents let alone really vile parents who have an already damaged child will make them even worse.

    For a social animal like us the lessons learned as an infant will be the most powerful of all. Pain and fear and loneliness, hunger and lack of love will make a monster or diminished person more surely than anything else.

    Pogo & Murphy's Law, every time. Also "Trust but verify" - St. Ronnie (hah...)

    by IreGyre on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 01:09:36 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

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