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View Diary: Fun with Rethug Traps (32 comments)

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  •  how'bout tracking dust? (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour, Dirtandiron

    There are things you can sprinkle in your yard that will get on the shoes of a perp, and leave traces in their car and house, that prove they were on your property.  

    And/or puree of dog or cat poo, in the grass around yard signs.  This can be made by putting the poo into a bucket, adding water, and mixing with whatever garden implement you have, being sure to use rubber gloves and wear safety goggles in case the stuff splashes in the process.  Then pour it into the grass in the area around the yard signs and the area leading to them.   When done, wash your hands thoroughly, change your clothes, wash your hands again, and wash those clothes as a separate batch of laundry.  

    This provides an "invisible punishment" such that the perp will get it on his shoes, track it into his car, and into his house, and have no idea where the bad smell is coming from.  Works best if it's wet, but the nightly dew on the grass should be sufficient.  Pouring it over your yard signs, as long as it's not visible, will provide an added penalty: the perp who tries to remove your signs will get it on his hands, thereby on his steering wheel and possibly on his clothes.  If he doesn't wash his hands before he touches his face or eats anything, he can say Hello to Mr. Vomit for a few days.

    And yes, getting them to lie to the police is always good for some additional charges.  Even Republican cops get pissed off about idiots who lie to them.  

    "Minus two votes for the Democrat" equals "plus one vote for the Republican." Arithmetic doesn't care about your feelings.

    by G2geek on Sat Jun 09, 2012 at 08:55:43 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  But then your front yard smells like shit. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      G2geek, Margd

      If the other side is willing, bipartisanship. If not, oncology.

      by Troubadour on Sat Jun 09, 2012 at 09:25:02 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  so? it's not a bug, it's a feature:-) (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Dirtandiron, PSzymeczek

        After all, the Rs who step in it can't say they weren't warned!

        And really, your whole yard doesn't stink, only the areas right around the signs.  But those areas hardly stink either, since they are out in the open air.  What stinks is when the poo is confined in an enclosed airspace, like a car that gets hot during the day, or a house.  

        This suggests another weapon in the war, that would have to be used "live."  That would be a paint gun that could squirt a stream of orange paint from a distance.  The goal would be to catch the perp in the act, and then squirt them and their car, to make them easy for the police to identify.  Any water-based paint will do, since it's non-toxic and can be washed off later.

        "Minus two votes for the Democrat" equals "plus one vote for the Republican." Arithmetic doesn't care about your feelings.

        by G2geek on Sat Jun 09, 2012 at 11:30:00 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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