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View Diary: Can a 91 yr old woman be beautiful? (46 comments)

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  •  My wishes are to have none (6+ / 0-)

    Funerals are for the survivors.  Personally, I'd just wish to sneak out of town, but I'd never presume to know ahead of time what would help those behind.

    Condolences OTC, hope you were prepared and ready for this life change.

    •  This (3+ / 0-)

      Funerals are really to help the ones left behind.  For many, a chance to make some kind of farewell by viewing a body is beneficial.  

      In the last chapter of "Stiff" by Mary Roach, she talks about how, when her father died, her mother followed his wishes and didn't have any kind of service.  This angered friends and family and left her mother with feelings of discomfort and even shame.  So after a couple of years, her mother held a memorial service.  Initially, Roach was angered, but then "When I realized how distressing his last wishes had been for her, I changed my mind."

      People used to die at home, be prepared by family, and were laid out in the parlor of the family home.  Families and neighbors and acquaintances had a chance to participate in rituals that helped them cope.  Now we die in hospitals, are prepared by professionals away from view (if there is any preparation) and may be cremated before the service (if there even is a service).  This exile of death, and reminders of death, away from the living does not, IMO, seem healthy.

      I'm glad the diarist was able to view her mother's body and receive some comfort from that.  

      "Shit-dripping pond scum" may not advance the English language but it shows people are working to see our common tongue doesn't stagnate at some elitist level.

      by Ratmum on Thu Jun 28, 2012 at 07:42:31 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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