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View Diary: A critique needed for a LTTE (18 comments)

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  •  Just the facts (6+ / 0-)

    Easy to cut.

    The whole first paragraph can go.  In the other paragraphs, cut out all value judgements and personal opinion...state the facts and let them speak for themselves.

    I'm not saying that what you write is wrong.  I'm saying that you should save the arrows in your quiver for the big targets.  Your feelings and opinions will turn off some readers before they get to the facts.  You need these people, so let the facts speak for themselves, and the facts are eloquent.

    How many in your state now do not have health insurance including Medicaid?  How many would receive health insurance including Medicaid if the ACA is fully implemented?  How many will be covered if the state does the least it can possible do (many now in Medicaid will lose out)?  How much will this save the taxpayers and insurance customers in your state if these currently uninsured people get reasonably priced primary care instead of expensive emergency room care?

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