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View Diary: If I could take a pill to be straight.... (119 comments)

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  •  Whe I was in the Marine Corps back in the late (2+ / 0-)
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    BoiseBlue, Renee

    70's, the OIC (Officer in Charge) of my department was also gay. We found out about each other through my best friend who, btw, was straight -but that's a story for another time. When we were finally face-to-face knowing that each of us "knew," he just came right out and told me that from this moment forward he would expect more from me, that people like he and I were special. I never bought, and actually rebelled against, the "expect more from me" part, but that line, "we are special," has stuck in my brain ever since. I have come to really believe that. I am part of a very large family and my partner of 22 years and myself bring a perspective to our family that would otherwise not be there - a special perspective. My mom says that Russell and myself have the best, strongest relationship of all her seven kids. My five sisters all come to me for relationship advice - and just advice on life in general. My family would be so much less but for the presence of the gay sensibility that flows form the presence of my partner and I. We ARE special, and I remind myself of that everyday. Would I take a pill to change that? Could a pill cause the love I have for my partner to dissipate? Never in a million years.

    •  I guess I didn't really address the problem you (1+ / 0-)
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      are facing, BB, but the question you asked brought back memories of that time in my life. As to your problem, my advice is to do whatever it is that will keep you physically safe - even if you have to compromise your principles and live with a certain level of anxiety. I have been there may times. Somtimes the "coming out" happens quickly and beyond your control - have an escape plan. Oftentimes the "coming out" happens slowly, under your control. But at all times, safety of body and safety of job should be paramount. Good luck, and be safe, my friend.....   :-)

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