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  •  OT - Former Navy Wife here. (Navy Brat, as well) (8+ / 0-)

    Wives (and kids) are not considered civilians.  We are dependents.  We are not allowed to fraternize with certain other wives due to their spouse's rank.  Our jobs are not important enough to move our enlisted spouse away from his job.  I was offered a wonderful job that started me at triple what my husband made (granted that wasn't much considering our military pay was just a notch about poverty it always seemed) but I couldn't accept it because we couldn't MOVE... Should see my resume, I couldn't stay at a job - let alone a career - for more than two years due to my husband's rotations, schools and attachments.

    I never really liked hanging out with the wives.  I avoided it like the plague.  I had nothing in common with the "WesPac Widows" (aka party girls).  Especially the crybaby ones who stood on the dock and complained, "its not fair!" as our loved ones waved goodbye to us for who knew how long.  

    My husband hooked up with some old Navy buddies a year or two ago.  I was happy to go along as I had fond memories of two of the sailors from Guam.  And within minutes I remembered what I hated most about the Navy...

    Navy Wives. LOL

    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." ~Jimi Hendrix

    by Damnit Janet on Tue Jul 10, 2012 at 11:12:46 AM PDT

    •  Not true (3+ / 0-)

      I can fraternize with any spouse and family I want to.  My husband may not have the same freedom to fraternize with that family's soldier.

      •  That has been our experience too, MT (5+ / 0-)

        My husband has limits, his family does not. However, I have far more officer wife friends than enlisted friends because it's hard to develop strong relationships when the husbands can't be in the same room.

        •  angelajean, it is refreshing to know that this has (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          angelajean, Damnit Janet

          changed.  The "rules" Damnit Janet mention were in force when I was growing up as a military brat & later as a military wife.  

          During the 50's-70's officer's wives and their children's behavoir could (& did) have impact on assignments or promotions.  No fraternization was allowed. Seperate pools, clubs etc for NCO & officers.

           IMHO, there will probably always be remnants of "old school" thinking/mores...perhaps more evident in some branches than others.

          That being said, since things have eased up somewhat, have you considered approaching NCO wives for help in promoting this film or personally viewing it?

          Also, would not your branch's JAG be another avenue?

          It seems to me that multiple entities within the service branch would benefit-CID for SA training & sensitivity training, JAG for obvious reasons, NCO & Officer's wives club. Perhaps the military hospital/clinic and the military chaplain?

          Another huge population to consider is that of the retired military.  Many still have ties to active duty, many network & few have anything to "lose" by getting actively involved.

          Thank you for your committment, heart & spirit, angelajean.  Godspeed.

          •  Great suggestions! (0+ / 0-)

            We're in a strange place right now, military-wise, with no true assignment while we're waiting for school. No official JAG, no squadron, no officer spouses club, though I bet I could find one of those if I really wanted to. NCO Spouses Clubs will be on the list but I would rather find a Senior NCO wife who would be willing to send the letters and copies of the DVD... they would more likely be accepted and watched. The NCO wives that know me, trust me. But the ones that have never met me don't often have a lot of respect for an officer's wife just because she is one. Officers' wives have done a lot to justify that reaction, I'm afraid. We still have a long way to go in the military.

            Retirees is a good idea as well. Many of the comments I see on the articles about this topic come from retirees. Many of them keep saying that the social experiment has failed but I figure there are just as many who would agree with me. Just have to hunt them out.

            •  angelajean, do retirees have a newsletter or (0+ / 0-)

              associations?  I vaguely recall seeing these types of communiques when I was settling my parent's estate.

              Senior NCO to sponser your endeavor was my first thought as well-they have pull...and an understanding.

              Base/post chaplains.  Base/post hospital psych dept. or whatever entity is assigned to PTSD.  Shame on them if they are not part of the solution, IMHO.

              Seems to me that this could also be a joint LE effort.  CID/Military police/civie LE usually have coordination in place in towns housing military installations.

              I am assuming that a congressional investigation was generated about these incidents.  If not, there should be.  Without going into detail, I personally know that the mere mention of one creates hair on fire activity...

              Uh-oh.  Something that just occurred to me-you mention this is an indie film.  Have you checked if it has been sanctioned by joint chiefs?  If those on high do not want this film seen or issues spotlighted, you will not find anyone on  installation to show it or get involved.  Those on living on economy may be a different story.

              I know that in my area, churches (both mega & small) will rent theaters for special showings of select films for their congregations.

              This may be a viable alternative for you to pursue.  Much like the military, churches have clout & an established grapevine to spread the word widely (ie throughout the states).  This may be a way to avoid any "on installation" military conflict(s) if you go through civilian channels (which would include retirees).  Active duty & retirees go to church...

              May seem like a back door approach but when you think about it, this issue is a human rights issue that requires a multitude of voices.  

              Behind every victim or potential victim is a parent, sibling, relative or friend that is a civilian. A civilian with no knowledge of the military coda or the ability to know what is happening or how to bring about change.

              •  Thanks for all the suggestions! (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:

                My back door approach is in the works... I actually started working on it first then Lackland happened and I jumped on the petition in the meantime.

                I will work the world I know - officer's wives. I'll be getting copies of the film and sending out to every Officer Spouses Club I can afford to get it to with a personal note asking that they schedule a viewing first with their board and then with their membership. They might even consider inviting their spouses. If enough bases start to do it, it will spread. I got my husband to watch the film, I know other spouses can do it as well. It may be the best way to get the film seen quickly :)

                I just need to be patient and wait for it to come out in DVD form. Working with the producer now on that one for reduced prices or free copies.

      •  Not true? Just not your experience (0+ / 0-)

        It was enforced while I was growing up and when I was married.  As I had said in a few other posts, it may have changed since then...

        We had to get an exception from some base commander because my friend and I met before we even knew what each other's husband did.  She was an Officer's wife, I was married to a second class.

        It might be easier for officers and captains wives to engage with fraternization with enlisted mens wives.  But I can say that it doesn't go the other way as easily.

        "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." ~Jimi Hendrix

        by Damnit Janet on Wed Jul 11, 2012 at 06:53:41 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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