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View Diary: "What do you think makes a woman want to have an abortion?" (168 comments)

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  •  There was a song in an old musical (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    hungrycoyote, Tamar, CherryTheTart

    "Learning when to leave can be the hardest thing you do."

    It's correct.

    My father lived with us for the last 18 months of his life.  The only thing we DIDN'T argue about was politics because he was a Kennedy Democrat who voted one last time for Obama (he'd have preferred Hillary because he liked her a lot).  On personal levels, it was bad. I didn't become rich or famous therefore I let him down, and he made that very clear very often.

    The last week of his life, he called me a whore, apropos of nothing. I burst into tears and ended up on the phone for an hour sobbing to a social worker at the Alzheimer's Association down here..  SHe asked soem very pointed questions about our past relationship, which seemed off topic to me--and then she told me that he had been emotionally and verbally abusive to me much of my life, and the problems were his, not mine.  At that point I realized we might have to put him into a nursing home, something I loathed the idea of doing.  He was my father. Caring for him was my job, not soem stranger's. I was doing it out of duty, and I did love him, despite it all.

    He died before we had to make that decision.  He had a heart attack.  WHich is a lot better than going from ALzheimer's (which is where the "whore" comment came from, I prefer to beleive).

    But the truth is, there are thigns you can't change if thhe problem belongs to the other person.  My therapist once told me,, "You're carryign around their monkey. It belongs to them. Give it back and leave it with them."

    SOemtiems you just have to give the monkey back and walk away,.

    The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

    by irishwitch on Sun Sep 16, 2012 at 07:36:23 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

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