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View Diary: Caveats for Caretakers (6) (25 comments)

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  •  The last year is a bitch, (1+ / 0-)
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    s l o w loris

    and no matter what you do, you will feel bad. My father was one of four children. The oldest brother committed suicide when it became obvious that he was on the Road Home. His family was devastated. The oldest sister lived to 92 in various assisted living communities, but her last two years were a descent into misery which she shared with her son and his wife, who were also caring for the wife's mom. They were exhausted and at the end of their tether. The other sister lived to 94, and most of the last years were spent at home with paid help, though when she got really sick, my cousin moved her to a nursing home closer to where she lived. This helped the cousin, but a few hundred thousand dollars disappeared overnight and my aunt was miserable. My dad insisted on staying at home with hospice care, but this entailed me giving up a job and my family to move in with him to help out. Even then, the last year or so was not pleasant.
    What I am trying to say here is that there is no right answer, no magic solution. Don't beat up on yourself. You did the best you could.

    "There's a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in". Leonard Cohen

    by northsylvania on Sat Sep 22, 2012 at 02:57:43 PM PDT

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