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View Diary: Mitt Romney has intestinal gas... (85 comments)

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  •  Dear Mr. Lieber: (13+ / 0-)

    Willard Romney here.

    You are an excellent satarist.  In fact, superlative at most times, my good man.

    However, you got it wrong.  There was cantaloupe on my fruit tray, but the help didn't test the firmness of the melon.  The resulting squishiness on my palate caused my body to contort in anguish at this affront to my senses, and as a result, my spinal column was twisted.

    I am in pain, and on the advice of my medical professional, ingested two Lortab 20-500's approximately 32 minutes ago.  I require your indulgence this evening, as my debate perfor.................WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!

    (Dear Mr. Lieber - I am Gov. Romney's personal assistant, and he requested that I complete and send this electronic communication to you.  While he will still attend the debate, please be advised that the train debacle and cantaloupe episode may impact his delivery of zingers this evening.  Sincerely, Andrea)

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