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View Diary: Let's Get Real-The Basics: Extreme Religion Stops a Thinking Brain and Kills Women and Teenage Girls (246 comments)

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  •  I don't get why having sex with someone you (3+ / 0-)

    turn out to "not like" is going to be a horrible, shameful thing and the ruin of your life.

    For some reason, perhaps our puritan heritage, Americans are terrified about sex. It's supposed to be some kind of holy, sacred thing only reserved for special life partners/spouses.

    News flash - sex is fun. Sex is enjoyable. Sex is part of a healthy lifestyle.

    I'm not saying you have to go out and have sex with everything that moves, but there's nothing wrong with experimenting and learning about your sexuality when you're younger, even if gasp it's with someone you may turn out not to like in the future.

    When we stop putting leaders from the past up on pedestals and ignoring their flaws, we can start seeing our present leaders for what they really are.

    by PhillyJeff on Mon Oct 08, 2012 at 09:01:26 AM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Guess we'll just have to see it differently. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Freakinout daily, Chi, Beket

      I'm hardly terrified about sex, but there are several people I slept with that I later discovered were lying sacks of shit, and the thought of having been that intimate with a lying sack of shit is regrettable to me.  

      Sex is more than a physical act to me.  I hardly need it to be "sacred", but the memories of it with those I still like and respect are many times more pleasant than those who turned out to be lying sacks of shit.

      And here's a newsflash for you - people can actually have different opinions than you, even about sex, without you having to try and be condescending.  

      Second newsflash for you - sex for people who have not matured physically or emotionally is not a healthy lifestyle.  A person can actually acknowledge the power of sex and hold a healthy respect for that power without being a gasp prude.  

      "If you trust you are not critical; if you are critical you do not trust" by our own Dauphin

      by gustynpip on Mon Oct 08, 2012 at 10:12:30 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  What PhillyJeff is not acknowledging is that sex (5+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        gustynpip, CorinaR, Chi, qofdisks, eltee

        Has consequences.  Potentially huge consequences.  Therefore it should not be undertaken lightly, and especially not by immature teenagers.  I am not promoting abstinence per se; I had sex before marriage, but I was pretty selective about it and I'm glad of that.  

        I have two teenage daughters now, and have talked to them a lot about their choices.  At 17 & 19, I'm quite sure both are virgins so far.  I've told them I don't think it's important to "save it till marriage", but I have told them to consider the consequences of having sex, to be very very picky about their partners, to make sure the partners are trustworthy, and to ALWAYS use two methods of birth control, one of which is a condom.  I also hope when they choose to "do it" that they really enjoy it!

        •  I have to say, that I have not been especially (0+ / 0-)

          selective about sex and I'm glad for it. If I had it to do over again, I'd say yes to more. I'm middle aged now, so I think I can look back on it with some perspective. At fourteen or fifteen I had a tender sweet caring boyfriend my own age and we engaged in a lot of mutually pleasurable exploration together. Oddly, if I had waited a couple years longer, I would have been more likely to meet predatory older men. It was the absolutely the right decision to have sex with my high school sweetheart. He was an absolutey wonderful boy and we had a great time. We had had sex ed and we used a condom and were pretty careful about things like that.

          I find it facinating that a diary about abortion has inevitably led to talking about clearly teen-age sexuality with highly stereotyped gender roles.

          •  Not sure if your comment about highly (0+ / 0-)

            stereotyped gender roles is referring to my comment in particular, or to the other comments in the diary?  If you are referring to me, the only reason I'm talking about female sexuality is because I have daughters, not sons.  If I had sons, I guarantee I'd be giving them the same message.

            Glad for you that you had a pleasant, early sexual experience.  I'm a big fan of both sex ed and condoms, which sadly seem to be lacking with a lot of kids these days (especially the sex ed). But as a parent, and knowing my two children, I have to say there is no way they were ready for sex at 14 or 15.  Depends on the person & the circumstances, but I doubt that most high school kids are ready for it either.

        •  Sounds balanced to me. (0+ / 0-)
        •  THIS. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Freakinout daily

          Encouraging our daughters to be  smart and that they have power over their own bodies is great. We can do that without telling them that sex is bad. Waiting lets them experience sex outside the whole high school peer pressure/reputation thing (that can also undo everything you've taught them.)

          A woman should feel good about sex but not feel she has to have sex in order to feel good about herself. That's a concept that good parenting and good decisions bring home.

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