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View Diary: Is It Legal to Limit Disability Accommodation to Those with Family and Friends? (132 comments)

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  •  God forbid (23+ / 0-)

    someone were to grab an office chair of an able bodied person temporarily so that someone disabled or in pain while standing to make a call can sit down.

    I can stand at counters doing a long transaction (say, car repair shop, Verizon)...the workers have stools but we have  to stand. I have a cane.

    I've never been offered a chair/stool out of courtesy...even if the person helping me is not using his stool! I do ask nicely if I might use it...often that is fine but once in a while people are less helpful.

    People USUALLY look at me like I'm lying if I do not have my cane, though. I look youngish and fit. It's really wearing on the soul to ask for assistance and be shot down, at times so I can imagine how the diarist feels. Especially since these people are the ones that are supposed to be helping.

    •  It just occured to me (11+ / 0-)

      The social services worker was sitting behind the desk. She could have temporarily offered me her chair!

      Le nirvane n'existe pas. - Etienne Lamotte

      by breakingranks on Wed Oct 10, 2012 at 11:37:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  it's very hard to ask directly (8+ / 0-)

        something I wrestle with myself. But, if I were there with you as a bystander I could easily shame her into getting up by saying
        "that person is in pain from standing...could you let him borrow your chair for a while?"

        No one thinks you are selfish when you advocate for others (in healthcare too) but it can be harder to advocate for yourself.

        I myself have also had trouble with "deservingness". What I have to do is to imagine what I'd think is reasonable for someone else.

        Then it's obvious. If she knew you were a patron/customer who was disabled or in pain, she kindly could have offered you the chair.

        Probably you have to ask directly first and pull the official ADA thing if that doesn't work?

        •  that happened earlier in the day (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          kyril, Chacounne

          I also had to stand in a long line at the Transit Center, and there was no manager or office - only people at windows. So in order to get accommodation I would have had to cut in front of all those people and claim my case was more dire than theirs even though they were all tired and grumpy from standing in line.

          Le nirvane n'existe pas. - Etienne Lamotte

          by breakingranks on Thu Oct 11, 2012 at 09:07:51 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Have you considered getting one of those foldable, (9+ / 0-)

            lightweight little stools you could just carry with you for these kinds of situations?  It might not be ideal, but would be better than standing in pain.  Then you'd have something available whether you're waiting at a bus stop, standing in line, whatever.  

            "If you trust you are not critical; if you are critical you do not trust" by our own Dauphin

            by gustynpip on Thu Oct 11, 2012 at 10:22:54 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  I've had to do something like that (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            breakingranks

            have to extrovertly cut in front of people saying

            "I am not cutting you, I need something quick  and am going to get back in line" making eye contact. ANy sign of decent I say to that person. I have a bad foot, am going to ask for a chair.

            no one has a problem then.

            SOmetimes I then get a protest from the window person. I say...I am in pain, I am so sorry to trouble you but can I have a chair...

            It is VERY HARD to advocate for yourself. YOu have to work at that thing... if this were my child in pain what would I do/ask for. Me, I'd ask for anything without shame. ERGO....

            That said, I bought a folding stool (they have them for artists...3 leg stool. ALso have another kind for camping and a third kind that is a cane that turns into a stool) on a whim that has  been excellent, so the other posters idea to bring some seating for yourself I've found is a good one

            The stool I bought is a folding step plastic (one step) stool. WHen open it is the size of the kind little kids use to was their hands etc in the bathroom. I keep it in the trunk of my car. I do know it could be hard to carry (not for the avearge person but for me because I have a shoulder issue, maybe for you) a stool but maybe a very light backpack for it would help.

            you deserve to not hurt yourself. If money is tight peruse  free cycle, craig's list etc. In stores you could find something for 10-20 dollars as I did

            best wishes

            •  sorry to be redundant (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              breakingranks

              To be clear..it is not easy for me to advocate for myself...I meant I would be able to ask for anything without shame if it were for my child.

               I've also used luggage rack/small wheeled bag for my folding tool (once). Someone I know let me "long borrow it"...ie they take it back when they need it for travel.

              I am fortunate I now have a car....I live in a walking place ---city--love to walk and can't walk for transportation. I often can drive to places and park if I can get close enough so for me it's the standing not the walking that's hard. But then I need to afford gas, can't walk well enough not to have a car.

              It' such a tangled web to crawl out of oftentimes when you get sick or hurt and cannot work. IT is much worse for many than for me, but I've gotten a glimpse/taste of it. It makes me even more affronted by the Romney/Ryan tune on the "people who feel they are victims and WILL NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for their lives".

              Look! Right here and now this diarist is trying to take responsibilty! trying to work through obstacles to get what they need. Being creative about it even with limited resources...hope you don't mind me saying xo

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