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  •  I doubt you smoke for pleasure. (6+ / 0-)

    I suspect, like me, you smoke to avoid pain.

    The pain of nicotine withdrawal. The pain of having to face life's challenges without the crutch.

    (Some cigarettes are truly pleasurable, like the one with that first cup of coffee, sitting outside on a warm, clear summer morning. Those few make the other 99% seem pleasurable.)

    I know I'm being presumptuous as all gitout, but I think deep down you'd really like to be able to quit. I would.

    Take heart, and take care. Most smokers make multiple attempts to quit before they finally succeed. I've been a heavy smoker for 45 years and managed to quit twice for one year at a time. My numerous unsuccessful attempts included aversion therapy, hypnosis, acupuncture, nicotine gum and patches, various support groups, cold turkey, phased reduction, etc.

    My recommendation to you right now, while you're in the middle of a very stressful financial situation, is this:

    Wrap your cigarette pack in heavy paper and rubber bands. Make every cigarette you smoke a conscious, effort required choice. Every time you manage to resist the urge to unwrap the pack for a full hour, put 50 cents in a savings jar.

    Will it help? Damned if I know, but it can't hoit.

    All that having been said, SHAME on your mother. When you're ready to try to quit or cut down, you'll do it for YOU, not for her. Her guilt trip is not helpful. It just adds to your stress, and that's the LAST thing you need.

    Please take my ramblings for what they're worth. Know that I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope you and your husband see better times soon.

    "We've switched from torture to assassination -- is that supposed to be moral progress?" h/t Susie Madrak, C&L

    by WisePiper on Sun Oct 28, 2012 at 11:34:56 PM PDT

    •  wow (7+ / 0-)

      Thank you for taking the time to contact me.
      After my mother and her husband explained their pleasure in inflicting suffering on me and mine for whatever unknowable reason they have
      I really needed someone to be nice to me.
      Be well

      I don't believe in god, but I'm afraid of him. -Gabriel Garcia

      by malevola on Sun Oct 28, 2012 at 11:44:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Malevola, I know exactly what you're going (8+ / 0-)

        through. I went through a divorce in the last two and half years which devestated me financially. (Due to my ex husband going through almost $90,000.00 in joint marital funds which was spent on numerous and sundry other women in less than 8 months in 2009. I was unable to stop him, though I tried, due to the fact that we were married and by the time I was able to file for legal seperation and get it filed in the courts, it was too late)

        I've been slowly rebuilding my life and have had to on occasion ask my mother and step father for help financially. It's always an excercise in slow, painful torture as I have to listen to the same bullshit about my "failure" to find steady employment (kinda difficult when for every decent paying full time job there are 20-30 people applying for them at the same time) that I need to get my act together, that, I too, need to quit smoking and of course be forced to have to listen to them trash President Obama and tell me how much better off I'll be once their guy Willard wins. If I had any other option, believe me, I'd take it rather than have to subject myself to this. I'm like you, I don't understand why they feel so compelled to extract every pound of my flesh they can get when what I need from my family is simply a little kindness and support.

        But, I refuse to let them make me feel bad about myself or undermine my determination to become financially secure by the beginning of the new year.

        Don't let them get to you, don't let them get inside your head.  

        "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. We must put our hands on it and we must bend it in the direction of justice." MLK

        by mindara on Mon Oct 29, 2012 at 12:25:01 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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