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View Diary: Reflections of an abused child (15 comments)

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  •  I've started a longer reply several times. (4+ / 0-)

    It ain't happening tonight.  Really all I can say right now is that I know where you're coming from.  I was twenty-seven and childless when I decided to have a vasectomy.  I just wasn't going to chance parenting as I was parented.

    Now, pushing 60, I get it.  Joy of Fishes could be describing my parents:  emotionally stunted, incomplete people.  I don't really know how - maybe it was just coming to understand the childhood each of my parents had - but I've lost the anger and resentment I felt toward them.  I'm sad at some of the things I missed out on, and at some of the things that were done, but in the end I "escaped."  My parents never could escape, nor could my brother - he committed suicide when he was 40.  His fourteen year-old son did the same a couple of months later.  This makes me saddest of all.

    Abuse can last for generations.  Throw in poverty,  lack of opportunity, and limited exposure to "normal" relationships and it's pretty easy to see why.

    I am so sorry, Marina.  

    •  IndieGuy & Others ... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      thomask, IndieGuy

      IndieGuy, please accept my condolences on the loss of your brother and nephew.  May they rest safely in the peace that eluded had them.  

      For you and for all others who come this way, I invite you to follow or join the House of LIGHTS group (If I recall correctly, the acronym is for Loving Inspiration Giving Healing to Survivors).  You will find survivors and thrivers* who experienced childhood abuse/trauma.  An advantage to joining is to be able to reach out to the group through kosmail.  

      * From Victim to Survivor to Thriver.

    •  Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Joy of Fishes, thomask, IndieGuy

      I am just amazed at the strength and resiliency that has echoed in the replies to my post. I'm sorry too about your brother and nephew, some of us sadly don't survive due to the conditions we were raised in.  You made some brave decisions. It has taken years of counseling to get to the point where I am today as I chose to have children and worked very hard to break the cycle. But I too have siblings who followed in my parents footsteps and have not been as fortunate as I have.  Your response helped me in my continued journey of healing.

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