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View Diary: I keep wondering why many of my GOP friends and co-workers are looking at me so funny after election (30 comments)

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  •  Lost my sister this election... (18+ / 0-)

    ...and may never have a relationship with her again.  I always knew she was a Republican and a Romney supporter, but something broke in her after the election.  She posted a disjointed, angry screed on my FB page; my response was not a point-by-point rebuttal but an explanation of where my liberalism came from.  I haven't heard from her since and am not sure I ever will.

    I'm willing to give my sister and others who voted for Romney time to work through their grief.  But I won't sit by silently and take the brunt of the hatefulness.  I have always been a conciliator by nature, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a rug to walk over.  I recognize the fear, but when that translates to expressions of hatred, I will stand up and denounce that.  As I told my sister, "If you want to have a conversation, we'll have a conversation.  But if 'conversation' to you means a recitation of talking points without showing me who you are, then the conversation will be necessarily short."  

    There's a reason that the Obama campaign always emphasized "tell your story."  If one is speaking in personal terms, the power of talking points is diminished.  And that's one lesson I'm going to take with me in the battles ahead.

    •  Not sure why GOP supporters can't just get (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      mookins, JayRaye, PinHole

      over it and take it so personally and blame those around them including family members and neighbors.

      "We must be the change we wish to see in the world" - Gandhi
      "The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little" – FDR

      by smokey545 on Sun Nov 11, 2012 at 09:50:31 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  We just saw (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      smokey545, dwahzon, JayRaye

      some of my in-laws for the first time in 10 years.

      They found out after insulting us, making hurtful decisions and shunning us, that we would not put up with it.

      In a 3 hour meeting, we spoke of some family events which had happened, and little else.  Things will never be the same as they were from the mid-60's to late '90s.  They are in a geographic (Appalachia) and news bubble which is ruled by rigid authoritarians (politically and with religion) and FAUX.  They are receptive to being exploited for all their fears.  

      Don't be a rug!  They will probably never respond to reason or just knowing you have a different POV, because the hate has been programmed into them.  At one point 9 yrs ago, Mr Pinhole said, "I've lost my whole family!"  I reminded him that they had lost him and driven him & us away.  

      Carry on, it's a tough road.  Avoid the battles by avoiding a battle - And don't loose your self-respect! You don't have to rise to the bait, but yet can be firm in your principles.  Best wishes and hugs!

      •  yes, PinHole, this is tough (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        Some, like my niece, I can put up with. (See comment below.) She's down on Obama even tho she's on food stamps & getting medical assistance. go figure. But at least she will be respectful to me.

        Other family members are a different story. And one thing I will not put up with is racism. If they insist on that kind of talk then they are not welcome in my home and I will not set foot in their home. Figure it was their choice. They could have stopped with their racism when I asked them to instead of doubling down on it.

        They drove me away and that was their choice. But what a relief not to be around all that anger and hatred anymore.

        WE NEVER FORGET Our Labor Martyrs: a project to honor the men, women and children who lost their lives in Freedom's Cause. For Nov: Voting Rights Martyrs

        by JayRaye on Sun Nov 11, 2012 at 01:19:01 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

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