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View Diary: What drove you nuts in the middle of all the thankfulness? (177 comments)

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  •  Neighbors dropping in on Thanksgiving (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    rainmanjr, DvCM, Julia Grey

    Okay, I've got a weird T-day story about that from 3 years ago.  I'm still a bit miffed about it.

    My family is from the East Coast and I moved to California, and yes, I admit I moved to get some distance between us.  I can handle seeing them once or twice a year, but not constantly, and believe me, if I lived there it would be constant.  These people have zero sense of boundaries.

    Now, I usually don't visit for Thanksgiving, but my dad was struggling with lung cancer issues, and this was clearly the last Thanksgiving he'd have.  So I flew out minus the husband and kids, and my sister-in-law and my brother really wanted him to spend the meal at their house.  They said they wouldn't invite the usual 40-60 people if he'd agree to join them.  So he very reluctantly agreed, as he really didn't want people to see how downhill he'd gone, plus, being around more people was likely to get him even sicker.

    So we sit down for our meal around 3:30 or so, and as we're finishing the soup, the doorbell rings.  And it's the neighbors.  With their mom.  And, given everything I've just told you, wouldn't you expect that my brother and SIL would tell them nice to see you, we're eating, we'll come by later?  Noooooooo.  They invite them all in, and now we've all gotten up out of our seats, including my going-to-die-in-two-months-from-cancer dad.  

    And they then proceed to talk to us in the fvcking hallway for 20 minutes.  They're in no hurry to leave, and neither bro nor sis will encourage them to return to their walk.  The dining room is right off the front hallway, so they can see there is food on the table and that we had sat down.  So I'm still trying to figure out who was ruder here, them for not leaving right away when they saw we had started dinner, or bro/sis for not encouraging them out when they had promised my dad a quiet thanksgiving without all those extra people.

    I really think the both of them use friends and neighbors as buffers so they don't have to have any kind of intimate conversations, because every time I've visited there has always been somebody over there, and literally as soon as one leaves, another arrives.  Phone is constantly ringing too.  Given that they've never encouraged any of these people to leave so they can spend some quiet time with visiting family, I assume that's the way they want it, but that time at Thanksgiving?  That was weird.  And rude.

    •  Yes, I know people like that, you cannot visit (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      DvCM, madhaus

      them or fly across country to see them without all their neighbors and friends popping in all of the time.

      When my Mom was going through chemo, neighbors would just walk right in and one time, they almost walked in on me undressing as it was just Mom, me and my husband visiting and I was trying on some clothes that Mom could no longer wear.  So we had the hall door and bedroom doors open.  Mom then decided to lock her doors because I told her it was ridiculous her neighbors were just strolling in the house without knocking and walking through her house anytime of the day and night.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:16:31 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  I told Mom since they all had a key to check on (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        DvCM, madhaus

        her, they could ring the doorbell and if no answer, use their key. But seeing a car in the driveway that was ours and not just hers, they knew she had family there for the holiday. And they just walked in and stayed.

        Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

        by wishingwell on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:17:42 AM PST

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