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View Diary: Single Dad gripes. (26 comments)

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  •  people generally are emotionally (3+ / 0-)

    challenged by things that are different than their expectations and their own behavior, and their initial reactions to deal with their discomfort generally lead to them swallowing their feet in trying to bridge the gap they feel.  Others are genuine assholes.  If you can, assume the other person is merely ackward, and try to help them out by reframing their remarks in a positive way.  Meet the pizza comment, with , No,  I love to cook for my kids, to give them good food and family time.  It's worth the effort.  People who didn't mean to be rude, will be glad that you gave them an out, an opportunity to then compliment you on your devotion to your kids, on being a good dad.  Assholes just don't count.

    And no, people shouldn't call child protective services if you take your kid out of the store,  but depending on your body language or facial expressions as well as your words, you can maybe cut some of that off.  If you are clearly relaxed but firm, offer the child a clear chance to behave or go have a time out in the car or at home, no tension or anger in your voice, onlookers will have little reason to suspect anything, and again, someone motivated to call may be doing it for bad reasons (ie, if you are a person of color they report you because of racist assumptions) but imagine if more people spoke up in general, more kids may be saved from abuse and that's not all bad.

    Mostly you care enough to be bothered, and that's why you are a good parent.  That's what ultimately matters.

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