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View Diary: To My Dad & Sorry for my Rant (123 comments)

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  •  Hear Hear! (7+ / 0-)

    That said, I think she should tell him this herself. I had the same thought when reading the convo, it felt like he was projecting and badly at that.

    I think the next time it happens it'd possibly be a good idea to tell him exactly that and ask him why he has this constant and irrational association that a non-spotless house indicates depression or anger. Where does he get these things from?

    I can sense that people often try to treat their family members with Kid gloves out of a sense of misplaced loyalty. But you can confront and disarm his abuse entirely with a few well placed questions and observations. Their feelings shouldn't factor into this because they are the ones being hurtful here and it's only a kindness long term to carefully steer them away from their hostile behavior.

    Flipping it into a convo about his past and his feelings about himself would definitely do that, and not necessarily in a really disrespectful way either. Just asking him why he keeps lobbing anger/depression accusations at an unclean house should be all it takes to break the ice. See how he responds, probe further.

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